Complex Numbers

Job Security

From Cracked, an example of how we can understand and not understand science at the same time. Kind of a superposition of states, like an unobserved particle. See? I can science metaphor. It's wrong, but I can do it.

    4 Scientists Who Only Added More Mystery to the World  
Their problem-solving skills are only rivaled by their problem-creation skills

The misunderstanding is that scientists solve problems. I mean, sure, you get some answers, but those answers always lead to more questions. This is good, though; it's job security.

You want actual problems solved? That's what engineers are for.

There’s a bit of an erroneous belief that in order to become a famous scientist, you have to solve problems.

At least the author admits that it's a misunderstanding.

However, there’s another, arguably vastly more annoying way to get your name on an enduring thought. That’s to come up with a brand new intellectual mess for all the other scientists to have to try to figure out.

Like I said. Job security.

4. Thomas Young

I will admit that I've either never heard of this individual, or forgot that I did.

In 1801, Thomas Young disagreed with the popular belief that light was made up of particles. He believed that light was, in fact, a wave, and so he cooked up an experiment to prove it. He cut two slits in a sheet of metal and shone light through them.

Oh, yeah, the double-slit experiment. I've certainly heard of that. Hell, in physics lab in college, we performed it, only we used lasers (which hadn't been invented yet in 1801). It's clearly more famous than its creator.

Young set out to perform a simple experiment with light, and ended up creating what would be called “the central mystery of quantum mechanics.”

Sometimes, complex questions have simple answers. This is a case of the opposite. The article goes on to explain exactly why, and, miraculously, it conforms with my prior knowledge (that is, I'm sure an actual physicist could pick it apart, but for a comedy site, it's remarkably accurate).

3 Fritz Zwicky

This one, I'd heard of.

You might not know the delightfully named Fritz Zwicky, but you have heard the two words he coined in combination: dark matter.

Thus also providing job security for science fiction writers who are free to give it all kinds of magical properties.

Dark matter, which is — keep in mind that as an art major, I am fighting for my life here — matter that contains mass but emits no light and therefore cannot be observed, was his best, confident attempt at making some very nonsensical measurements make sense.

I gotta say, I'm impressed that an art major got so many things right. No disrespect intended to art majors, but they're not known for understanding physics. On the flip side, I have some small understanding of and education in physics, but I can't do art to save my life, so it all balances out.

Anyway, in my own amateurish way, I tend to see the concept of "dark matter" as a placeholder, a concept expected to have certain properties. Kind of like the luminiferous ether proposed before we more fully understood the nature of light (as per #4 above). When we finally figure it out, I'd predict that "dark matter" will be an historical relic, like luminiferous ether or the humour theory of medicine.

2. Enrico Fermi

You know this guy developed other stuff, right? Like, his famous "paradox" (which I've insisted in the past is not an actual paradox) was kind of a footnote to an incredibly productive career? And that he has a whole class of subatomic particles named in his honor?

Honestly, I think if he hadn't been so prolific, no one would have paid attention to the "paradox."

Nobody was arguing that the question “does extraterrestrial life exist” was too easy to answer. Yet, a man named Enrico Fermi decided to add another layer of unsettling confusion to that little gray layer cake, just in case anyone was feeling they had a good handle on it. Even worse, he reportedly rattled off his new addition casually at lunch, and every scientist since has been dealing with his bullshit. Bullshit that’s most commonly referred to as the “Fermi Paradox.”

It's nice to see my opinion on the matter confirmed, even it is by an art major writing on a dick joke site.

The article, again, does a good job explaining the questionable conundrum, so I won't repeat it here.

1 The Guy Who Invented Mystery Flavor Airheads

That wasn't a scientist. That was a marketer who probably got ordered to find something to do with the excess Airhead slurry left over after batches had been produced.

And we don't even know if it was a guy.