Hey, life? Are you kidding me?

When you have to go!

Read at your own risk!

A couple of people have politely asked me why I drive my gator down to where I walk instead of walking there. It's a fair question. The answer is two part.

1. Despite growing up in the country and then marrying someone who lives in the country, I am not a squat and pee girl. I simply don't have the coordination or the bravery to do it. I can just imagine a wasp or, God forbid, a snake biting my 'business'. Not only would that really hurt, I don't want to ruin a doctor's day by having to examine that.

2. I have Teacher Bladder. Google it (or simply believe me), it's a real thing. The first time I went to a urologist (for kidney stones), he asked me if I was a teacher, nurse, or mail carrier (which I now think is my dream job). Seeing my confused look, he explained my bladder was not in good shape which usually happens when we hold our urine instead of going when nature calls. Easier said than done when you are a teacher.

For one reason, who ever designs schools thinks we only need one bathroom for teachers. Wrong! There all a lot of us - teachers, administrators, para-professionals, volunteers, janitors, etc. For one bathroom! And, a lot of time we are on break at the same times. Honestly, it feels like a foot race against your coworkers. We are torn between being nice and tripping them. And God forbid a little unknowing child uses our bathroom! I'm afraid he will be secretly shunned by normally reasonable teachers.

Well-meaning people have suggested usually the students' bathrooms since they have multiple stalls. These people have never seen the shocked look on a student's face when you come out of stall. The fact that teachers pee is disturbing! Also, I teach preteens, and no amount of bath and body can make them smell lovely. So their bathrooms smell like lavender, sweat, funk, and yuck. (Don't even ask about the boys' restroom).

You can't leave the darlings alone while you run to the bathroom, because in a matter of two minutes, best friends will be fighting, some one will bite some else as an experiment, and the office will have called four times.

So, if you ever are in charge of designing a school, GIVE US MORE BATHROOMS! Teachers' bladders matter too!

In short, I'm extremely thankful for Bruce's gator so when nature calls, I can make it to my own personal bathroom.