The Guinea Pig Files. Tales of Ralph, Toby and Graham |
Newsfeed 'Paralysed' as 'Famous' Guinea Pigs Stage Black Friday Strike. [Note: Please use authentic newsy type font for that bit] Those gravity defying Guinea Pigs Ralph; Toby and Gweep, GUINEA PIG THREE (GRAHAM): GWEEP! EEP GWEEP QUEEK WEEP GWEEK!!! I'm sorry, and Graham, are today striking in protest over what as been dubbed 'That blooming Thanksgiving poetry announcement fiasco'. We interviewed them earlier. GUINEA PIG ONE (RALPH): Muffled guinea pig sounds. GUINEA PIG TWO (TOBY): Embarrassed gweeps and other guinea pig sounds. GRAHAM: Okay this isn't working guys, we can't strike and make a protest, without him doing the old ventriloquism bit folks can't understand a word.. RALPH: That's right, and mark my words we do want to be heard, TOBY: Too right! It was a blooming liberty it was, using us in a blatant bid to drum up readers for his grotty poetry. GRAHAM: On Thanksgiving too! Disgraceful. RALPH: "Yadda.. Yadda.. Yadda.." That's what we were reduced to. TOBY: Oh yes and then when he realised that he'd goofed there was you Ralph, wishing everyone a great Thanksgiving, well everyone American that was, which makes sense I suppose really. GRAHAM: Blooming Yadda.. Yadda.. Yadda.. I've never Yaddad in my entire life. RALPH: So in protest we are striking until we get a full written Gweep. TOBY: Gweep? GRAHAM: Gweep!!! The Guinea Pigs will return following a full arbitration and negotiating period. (i.e. probably tomorrow). |