GWEEP!

Cutesy Critters Christmas Nativity Play (Part One)

Angus Brosnigag and Capering Cavy Company Productions

in association with

Emmerson Wires Ltd

are proud to present:

The Cutesy Critters Christmas Nativity

[Ambient theatre crowd noises: Coughing; Rustling; Phone Jingles; Rhubarbs etc.]

The curtain opens to reveal a small group of baby hamsters, dressed in very small pieces of tea-towel. The hamsters are tending what appear to be ping pong balls largely covered in cotton wool. Occasionally from the prompter's box we hear a 'baa, baaa'.

A Quokka appears, suspended above the stage by a strong wire, and dressed as an angel.

VOICE OFF STAGE (TOBY): I thought we were doing this on a shoestring?

ANOTHER VOICE OFF STAGE (RALPH): We were, but it broke during rehearsals.

A QUOKKA NAMED ROSIE: Do not be afraid.

One of the baby hamsters creates a wee related incident and has to be helped off the stage by a sympathetic gerbil wearing large spectacles.

ROSIE: Awww. Is he alright? Poor baby. Thank you Miss Beynon.

Now. Where was I?

Oh yes.

Be not afraid, for I bring a message of great joy from our sponsors.

Ahem!

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Do I have to read all of this? It does go on a bit.

Okay.

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What does that even mean?

Prompter: Baaa. Baaa!

ROSIE: Poor shepherds, tonight something really cool is happening in the town and you are all to leave your sheep and go and see what it is. I will set a star in the sky to guide you.

[A rather nice christmas star with working LEDs is lowered carefully next to Rosie. It is also suspended using Emmerson's 'Educated' wires, but you probably already guessed that, being a clever sort of audience.]

BABY HAMSTER NUMBER ONE (Horace): It blinds yer!

(This is a traditional line and has had to be used in all school nativities since 1246)

ROSIE: No it's okay to leave your sheep.

No Wiley Coyote won't get them while you're gone.

They won't run away.

Look I'll stay here and look after them for you. You just follow the star.

[Star moves across stage. Baby hamsters reluctantly follow]

PART TWO - TOMORROW...