Complex Numbers

Literally the Opposite

Today, we have a bit of linguistic education from that well-respected teaching site, Cracked:

    5 Words That Switched Meaning Because Everyone Used Them Wrong  
‘Entitlement’ now means you don’t deserve something, which is absurd

There are way more than five, but we have to take tiny attention spans into account, here.

Some words mean two things that are complete opposites. “Cleave,” for example, can mean both splitting something apart or joining two things together.

This is known as a contronym, and I've discussed them before: "Contronyms" . But that was almost five years ago, and today's bit isn't exactly about contronyms.

5. ‘Steep Learning Curve’

And already, we step out of theme: that's a phrase, not a word.

A steep learning curve indicates a process that’s easy to learn, with production rates rapidly increasing over time. With a shallow curve, on the other hand, rates increase more slowly, indicating a process that’s harder to learn.

Though, as the article so helpfully points out, a lot depends on how you define your graph's axes.

Ask me, it's probably best to do as they suggest and stay away from "learning curve," especially since that borders on corpspeak.

4. ‘Mystery Box’

If you’re a normal person, you may go your whole life without hearing about mystery box storytelling. If you’re a nerd, however, you know the term well. Mystery box storytelling is when a series lures you in by dangling a bunch of mysteries, mysteries to which the writers themselves do not yet know the answers.

Well, I'm a nerd, and I think I know a few things about writing, but I'd never heard that particular phrase. (Again... phrase, not word.)

The name “mystery box” comes from a TED talk that J.J. Abrams gave in 2008, initially inspired by people asking him what the island in Lost is.

The real mystery box here is how one director can fuck up so many different franchise movies, while still continuing to get hired as a director.

If I were inclined toward conspiracy theories, I'd say Paramount (the owner of Star Trek) hired him as a double agent to ruin Star Wars for Disney.

It’s a bit odd, though, to call them mystery box shows after Abrams’ choice of theme for one TED talk. Because he used the box to talk about so many different concepts, and because mystery boxes are an actual thing, with one specific mystery: What’s inside, and is it worth the price you paid?

But the point here isn't to slam Abrams as a director (I liked a lot of his stuff, just not all of it); it's to show how the phrase got to be misused, and for that, there's lots more background in the article.

3. ‘Entitlement’

Hey, look! A single word, unattached to others!

An entitlement is something you’re entitled to. That’s what it means. That’s how nouns work.

In the U.S., federal benefits programs are called “entitlements,” based on the assumption that recipients are entitled to them. Some of these programs, like Social Security, are contributory, which means you personally paid into them. Others, like nutrition assistance, are non-contributory, paid from the government’s discretionary budget, but by calling them “entitlements,” the government is still saying recipients are entitled to them.

This has bugged me for years: people calling contractual or legal obligations "entitlements" like it's a bad thing.

We’ve now reached the point when advocates for entitlements argue it’s insulting to refer to these programs as entitlements:

Shit, I've been there for at least a decade. Maybe longer. Maybe less. My relationship with duration (durationship?) can be tenuous.

2. ‘Low Man on the Totem Pole’

And we're back to phrases.

You probably think the “low man on the totem pole” is the most junior person in an organization. They have not ascended very far, and they lack power. But have you considered what sort of person would manage to be the bottom figure in a human totem pole? They would need to be strong enough to support everyone else.

Well, workers *are* the most important people in an organization.

In a totem pole, the bottom figure isn’t some peon being squashed by the important figure on top. They’re the figure in the pole who’s been carved with the most detail, and they may also be the biggest.

Eh, I avoid the phrase anyway, for cultural reasons. But now I'll never see it in the same way again.

1. A Special Note on ‘Literally’

Oh, hell, I'm going to hate this part.

The dictionary now notes that the word has a second definition, which essentially means “not literally,” and this inclusion attracted a lot of controversy online around a decade ago.

"The dictionary" (misleading, as there are several entities competing in that space) is descriptive, not prescriptive, at least the English ones. It pretty much has to base its definitions on how people are using words... even when that usage is objectively wrong, as with emphatic uses of "literally" or any use of "decimate" to mean something other than "remove one-tenth of."

Literally doesn’t serve here as a synonym for figuratively, a disclaimer clarifying that they’re joking. It serves as emphasis. In fact, it emphasizes their statement by declaring it’s literal. You know it’s not literal (again, from context), but they’re telling you it is, and therein lies the sentence’s humor.

Okay, so, by framing it as comedy, you're moving me to your side. Waltz's Second Law states: "Never let the facts get in the way of a good joke. Or a bad one. Especially a bad one."

So, people generally don’t use “literally” as a synonym for “figuratively.” But they used to.

Go through classic novels from a century or two ago, and you’ll find many authors doing so.

Huh... okay.

Despite the criticisms that young people misuse “literally,” using it as a replacement for “figuratively,” doing so now comes across as a very formal or outdated way of speaking. The word did change meaning, but it reversed in the opposite way to what people think, becoming more literal.

And there it is, folks: proof that I can be persuaded, given enough evidence. And comedy.