Curious Incidents of a Flailing Mermaid

Hold On [Barrel of Monkeys]

Our next stop on our Sarah McLachlan tour is Hold On, which was on the Fumbling Towards Ecstasy album (1993/4)



This song is about coming to terms with the impending death of a loved one. However, if you look it up on Google, you’ll see that there are lots of claims as to what the song is about. But I am pretty confident that it was indeed inspired by a woman whose husband was dying from a long-term illness.

These days, I sometimes think of this song when I'm about to do something really difficult: this is gonna hurt like hell.

But back in the day, this is not what I thought of.

I have seen Sarah McLachlan live twice: once in Cambridge, UK (my hometown), and once in Manchester, UK.

I went to both concerts with a few friends who all shared my love for Sarah.

Around the time of the second concert, one of my friend’s father had just been diagnosed with cancer. It was an incredibly sad time, and while we were looking forward to getting together and going to this concert, it probably wasn’t the best timing.

It wasn't the best time to go see a musician who made you feel all the emotions, many of which you didn’t want to feel.

We were dreading this song. My friend knew why it had been written, and she felt like every word meant something to her at that time.

Of course, Sarah played it. The second the first cord played, we held our breath. It was beautifully haunting and sad, but my friend loved it. She said it was like a form of therapy: a few minutes where she could just sit and feel what she felt without having to pretend to be okay.

Hold on, hold on to yourself
For this is gonna hurt like hell

Hold on, hold on to yourself
You know that only time will tell
What is it in me that refuses to believe
This isn’t easier than the real thing