Complex Numbers

She Said Spatchcock

I guess sometimes Lifehacker is good for a laugh. Laughacker? I don't know.

    Spatchcocking Your Chicken Is Worth the Effort  
Those thighs aren't going to crisp tucked way under there.

Settle down, Beavis.

Roast chicken is an everyday pleasure—a good fit for both special occasions and midnight snacks.

Which is why my grocery store sells rotisserie chicks.

While you might be familiar with the classic roasting style, with trussed legs and tucked wings, this method can lead to overcooked breasts and soggy thighs, two phrases I want nowhere near my chicken.

Heh heh heh huh huh

There’s a better way to roast your chicken for more even cooking: spatchcocking.

Bwaaaaahahahaha

You can spatchcock, or butterfly, any bird.

That bit might only be funny if you're familiar with British slang.

Traditional roasting puts the driest cut of meat (the breast of the chicken) at the top, often closest to the heating element—before you've even turned up the heat, it’s a recipe for overcooking. The parts that are juiciest (i.e. the thighs) are lower, if not completely under the rest of the body, and shielded from direct heat.

Somehow I'm hungry for wings, now, and I hate wings.

Illustrated instructions follow. I'd suggest not going to the link if you're vegan or vegetarian, or, like me, are allergic to hard work.