Blogocentric Formulations

Out of the Past

Day 2404 ▼

If you could relive one year of your life, what year would you choose? Why?

Ooh, this is a great prompt. I'm also a little conflicted because I think - for me - I would choose different years depending on whether reliving that year was purely an exercise is going through the same experiences all over again, or if it was an opportunity to change things that would then have downstream effects back in the present day. If there aren't any downstream effects, is it an opportunity to do things differently just for that one year? Hmm ... you know what? I'm going to answer all three!

If I could relive one year of my life and it was purely an exercise in experiencing that year all over again, I think I would choose 1999-2000; my senior year in high school. There were so many great moments that year ... I finally felt like I was growing more confident in who I was as a person and I had a solid friend group, I finally got over a girl I had been pining over since middle school and started enjoying life (like school dances) with friends ... I discovered my passion for filmmaking through school projects where I got to make short films for the first time ... as cliche as it is to say, I'd go back to high school because I remember that as a really fun, carefree time in my life. It'd be fun to go back to that time for a bit.

If I could relive one year of my life and it was a chance to live just that one year differently, I would definitely choose 2020. Even though it was during the pandemic and during the uncertain time when we were fostering the kids, and I don't love the idea of reliving either of those things, that's also the one year of overlap between us starting to foster our kids and my mom being around before she passed away. We ended up staying home and sheltering in place in our tiny little apartment because we had no idea how long the pandemic would last; we only saw my parents in person a couple of times that year, and we weren't able to be there with her when she passed. If I could live that year again and change something, I would have absolutely moved our family home so we could have all spent that last year together. I would have loved to have spent more time with my mom, given my kids more time with her, and lived somewhere that wasn't a cramped apartment for an entire year.

If I could relive one year of my life and it was a chance to change the downstream course of my life, this is where it gets tricky because I love my life. I'm not sure I'd want to actively change it as much as just get a glimpse of what would be different if I had lived my life differently. Most of these are probably career related. In 2004, I was working in the financial services industry and got my first job in the entertainment industry. What if I had stayed working in financial services? In 2005, I was up for a job at Marvel but didn't get it (and it wasn't until 2016 that I made my way there through a different job); what would have happened if I had been at the company a decade earlier? In 2018, I left Marvel for another ill-fated job; what if I had stayed? In 2022, I was offered a job at Apple but I turned it down to stay at Marvel; what if I hadn't? I have a lot of "what ifs" about career choices I've made over the years. Not so many about the rest of my life, which I think turned out pretty good, all things considered.