Moonie's Not So Secret Diary

Refocus

So often we are hardest on ourselves.

When I start feeling down, it's usually after I've listened to other people's issues. I'm a good listener, and an empath, and so I end up absorbing thier pain, feeling whatever they are feeling.

After a while, I'm overloaded with that from different people. I need to escape and unwind.

As for me, sometimes my alone time, can make me think of those people and things of mine that mean the most of me. I may have lost them in death, or worse yet, lost them in distance and circumstance.

At that moment, I may be on an empty train car. I have no book to read or phone to distract me. All I see outside the window is a blur of buildings and the ever distancing landscape.

The distancing of the rolling hills and trees could be comforting, yet the vibration and loud repetitive sound of the train is persistant. And it ends up heartbreaking instead.
Reluctant tears suddenly roar through me and out my eyes, much like a flash flood.

I weep, allowing myself this moment, while nobody's around to see. It lasts for a bit, and then I tell myself not to feel sorry for me.

Life goes on. Life is also full of blessings. I have people to care for and protect. I refocus.