My Conversion Story Journal

January 2, 2025

I enjoyed learning the laws of Chanukah this year. Not only with a friend studying the Shulchan Aruch, but also in the book that L got me last year. My friend and I will be starting studying the rules of Pesach. I'm not sure how much I can actually do. I will have a lot of questions for my Rabbi.

Chanukah is over, but the messages of Chanukah are still displayed in my email, all over my Facebook page, and in my WhatsApp groups. I really enjoyed Chanukah. It was a very meaningful holiday. Fun, yes, but also full of love, light, and hope. I ended Chanukah studying Hallel with L and Hebrew with GZ. I sure hope it is always like this.



Today I went to a class on the Parshah of the week. This week's Parsha is Vayigash. It is the part of the Bible where Joseph reveals himself to his brothers. His father Jacob comes to Egypt and the Jews prosper in Egypt. We didn't get through very much of the parshah, but the message was so good. I was able to hear two different messages on the parshah. One message was just on the meeting between Joseph and his brothers when he revealed himself to them. The second message was on the same theme that I have been hearing all week, on being broken and learning how to grow from being broken and use that brokenness to connect to Hashem.

When I first starting studying with Chabad, I was amazed how in depth they went with the Bible. It wasn't surface level, which was all I was used to getting. It wasn't some off topic message that some pastor made up and tied it to a verse taken out of place. It is soul kindling study of the word of G-d. I feel so blessed every time I get to participate in any class and learn. It is a privilege to learn at this level. Every time I hear a story or lesson, it fills part of my soul that was empty. I am so thankful to Hashem for giving me this time of my life.

I've been working on my kitchen a lot with keeping it kosher. I absolutely mess up and then study what I would do if I mess up like that after my kitchen is koshered. I'm thankful to have friends to talk me through it and know that I can ask the Rabbi when the time comes to help. There were things that I found I need to work on. It's amazing how many sets of kitchen gadgets are needed to keep the kitchen kosher. I never thought I would ever need more than one cheese grater, but that is not the case. I use it a lot for vegetables (making latkes). I need it to be parve for vegetables, but it is dairy when used for cheese (who doesn't like freshly grated cheese?). That means I need 2, one parve cheese grater and one dairy cheese grater. I now own two.

Another thing I have needed to expand on is my kitchen hand towels. To keep from mixing meat and dairy, different towels are needed. They are easy enough to wash, but I found that this takes practice and a lot of thought. I have been doing things and realized that I didn't change towels for meat and had to grab a new towel, or vise versa. Since I usually only eat meat on the weekends (except this week with all my leftovers from Shabbat since my guests didn't show), it is easy to keep dairy towels out during the week and put a new towel out for the weekend. It hasn't been easy with eating leftovers. The latkes I made were considered meat because I warmed them up in the meat oven (a separate little air fryer pizza oven that I bought specifically for meat), but I don't eat meat the rest of the day. That meant that I needed meat towels for the morning (when I made the latkes with scrambled eggs and spinach), and dairy towels for the evening. It's not really a difficult thing, but it takes thought and planning.



I'm going to be heading back to work soon, and I am so thankful that I had this rest. I really needed this time to focus on studying Torah, Hebrew, and spend my time connecting with The Creator. Thank you Hashem for this time. Over the past week, even through disappointments and heartbreak, I was able to rest and gain the strength needed to face the world outside of my apartment again.

I know some of you have asked how the move went and how I am doing now in a new city. I still hate the city. There are too many cars and the sheer amount of people is still overwhelming. However, I can get to work, to the grocery store, to the pharmacy, to shul, and to friends houses without GPS. I hate driving even there aren't cars on the road, so all the cars and the people do little for helping with that issue. I've done okay financially. I do get paid more here, so that helps. I have paid my rent and bills every month and still have not gone hungry. That was my hope when I moved here, and I have been able to achieve that. I have made more friends since I have been. Work is okay, stressful but it okay and pays the bills. I like that I make a difference, even if it is a small one. I like my apartment a lot. I love the closet space and the sheer size of my bedroom. I got a second (okay third) bookcase and assembled it over the holiday. I now am excited to get a few more books. I have wonderful neighbors. The lady who lives upstairs is from Poland. She is the sweetest person I have ever met and so good to everyone in the building. I am doing well here.

My Jewish followers, please join me this Shabbat in lighting candles. I know not all of you are observant (your words, not mine), but the world could use your light this Shabbat. I could use your light this Shabbat. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and a wonderful Shabbat.