Complex Numbers

No Brain, No Gain

You know how cats like to bat random things around? Well, that's a metaphor for me with articles like this ancient one (from Inc.):

    6 Ways to Train Your Brain to Literally Get Smarter  

And right there in the headline should have been my clue to click away: "to literally get smarter." I'll even let the split infinitive pass; that's a stupid rule anyway. But it's bad enough "literally" has come to also mean "figuratively," that's not what it's doing in the headline. It's an unnecessary intensifier, and the headline would be stronger without it.

Studies repeatedly show that you can make yourself smarter.

Yeah, I'mma need a citation or three for that.

High intelligence is nothing more than a great ability for pattern recognition and problem solving, all which is trainable.

"Nothing more than?" Seriously?

1. Keep intelligent company

You might’ve noticed that people of high intelligence often group together and this is because they want to discuss a broad range of topics freely without objections from their companions.

Oh. Sure. That's gotta be the only reason.

2. Read

You don’t need to stick to self-help books or dry, scientific tomes either. Books like Lord of The Rings, Oliver Twist, and even Pride and Prejudice can improve your mind and impart life lessons.

What? No! I draw the line at Austen.

3. Rest

Hey, now we're on the right track!

The lack of sleep, relaxation, and excessive stress can diminish your brain’s capacity.

Yeah, and stressing about it makes you lack even more sleep.

4. Eat brain food

I wouldn't trust this section.

5. Play brain games

Once the brain realizes it’s good at something, it stops trying, just like any one of us.

Um... duh. Because we all have brains (some maybe more than others).

6. Keep a journal

What do Einstein, Isaac Newton and Thomas Jefferson have in common? They were all diary keepers.

They had other things in common, the most obvious probably being that they were all men. There were also plenty of diary keepers who never made it into history. Correlation isn't causation.

Anyway, yeah, it was probably beneath me to snark on this. There's plenty of fluff in my writing, too, and I may be the literal pot calling the figurative kettle metaphorically black.

But I couldn't let that use of "literally" in the headline slide.