It's me, pretending to be me.

it's never gonna be banjos

"The Soundtrack of Your Life" 

I have had a terrible terrible evening. Like an awful that surpasses my smart-ass mouth and leaves nothing to say.

I therefore went to the list looking for something soothing, since I generally listen to whatever song I have chosen while I do this in case I am struck with any sudden insights. I usually am not.

I generally struggle with rap in other languages - though obviously British rap wouldn’t fit this bill. I can speak French and once I reached a level to even just recognize words my mind can’t do it. As it is now I say about 40 percent of everything in my mind in the opposite language. If something is in French I say it in English in my head and if I say shit in English I say it in French in my head. This doesn’t work with rap. They are saying things that rhyme in French but in my mind, the English version doesn’t rhyme and it fucks with the flow. For this reason, I don't really even give other countries’ rap a chance. And in this, British rap unfortunately gets lumped in.

But I heard this song on television and it is a transporter. I was a high schooler in the mid-nineties. This song makes me feel like ….
I should be driving around in a new red Grand Am that was actually my mom's, the four boys who were always in the car are in the car and we are just driving around the Deliverance-style country at 11 pm getting high. The “back roads.” Listen - one was called Punkinvine and you don’t even want to know how many stories I have from that fucking road. Good ole’ Punkinvine. The radio in the car is really pretty good for not having fucked with it like people tended to do back then, and I have it loud. LOUD. The darkness, the motion, and the weed combined with the bass turning the whole car into a vibrator has us in an induced state of peaceful numbness. It calls to mind the period of my life filled with music like….Too Short, Bone, Tupac, Luniz, MGK.

Nowadays I’d just say it is a good headphones song.