Daily Cascade

About the Influence of Elders on Children

Prompt:
"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."
James A. Baldwin
What do you think about this quote? Do our children really imitate us?

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Imitate? Maybe when they're very little and going through the learning process and they didn't have others around to imitate. But later, no way! At least not in my experience and with what I see in other families. I am nothing like my mother and my now-grown sons are nothing like their father or me. Yet, I was pretty good at listening to my mother and my sons also were okay in that area until they hit age six or whereabouts it.

Still, the above paragraph was my first reaction. When I thought more about the subject, other possibilities emerged.

So, looking at the larger picture, if kids didn't imitate their elders, would we be having wars, still? Wouldn't we be much better people? Because the outside effects, such as our ways of life, inventions, technology, etc., change, we may not notice the similarities between the caveman who killed others lurking around his cave or the country sending a bomb or two to another, with the assumption that the other is planning an invasion.

This may mean some things can stick in the minds of all of us that were planted there subconsciously by our elders, such as our ways of communication, our ethics, financial habits, religion or the lack of it, etc. Then, there are the mannerisms and habits, like our facial expressions and gestures. Some people also choose the careers of their fathers or of others in their families. For example, I am quite sure much of my choosing to stick with lit and languages had something to do with one of my uncles whom I adored while I was growing up. Was that conscious? It must be, I think, at least, partly.

So, yes, it is possible that adult children, even those who were rebellious in younger years, do imitate their elders in a lot of ways, from deeply-set subconscious behaviors to deliberate choices. This just shows that while we think we are forging our own paths, we are also carrying a piece of those who walked before us.