thefleet's Meanderings

Tuesday 10.7.25

I found out today that my mom's cancer grew. She's been dealing with this for 10 years. It has been bad a few times, two specific times I can think of that I wasn't sure she'd make it. This one is pretty scary because she has lesions all over her liver that can't be operated on. She's always been able to have surgery before.

I usually try to think of anything but what might happen if she's gone, but today I found myself, oddly analytically, thinking about what the future might entail.

My husband and I moved up to her house in Maryland 10 years ago to take care of her when we found out she had cancer. It was a good move for both of us. There was little opportunity for us where we were in Florida and we both got decent jobs and a variety of opportunities to grow here.

I've made friends and my husband has carved out a career.

A little over a year ago we had a house fire. We lost all of our things, and I lost my cat. I can't help but wonder if the stress contributed to my mom's cancer progressing. It was a chaotic 8 months rebuilding our house and getting back into the swing of things.

Well, I am not sure things really ever settled. I still have a lot of unresolved feelings regarding the fire, but maybe I will tackle that another time.

I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm going to do my best to keep myself and my family afloat.