Ramblings Of An Unquiet Mind

Feeling Overwhelmed

Hello out there!!!

It's been a while since I have updated the blog. Sir Cursorlot and I have been doing a fair bit of writing this week, but it's all over the place.

Some have been short stories, a few odd poems that have just randomly come into my head and a new chapter for my novel. And while I feel in some ways that I have achieved some things this week, in others I feel a kind of panic.

More and more, I feel like I am running out of time. My writing journey has started way too late, and will I have the patience to continue and also just in general.

If I'm honest, I think I have felt this way since my husband has put a date on retirement. Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than for him to retire tomorrow, but unfortunately, he will need another four years in the teaching profession before we will be financially secure to retire and live the way we want to see out our years. If all goes according to plan, we will live very comfortably and not have to watch every cent we spend.

Hubby's plan was always to retire young enough to enjoy it. So he will/we will be 55 when we can afford to do this. Then we have plans. And is it that we have these plans we hope to fulfil that makes me so nervous?

So many people make plans and then tragedy strikes. This is what fills my chest with pressure. Will we be ok in 4 years' time? Will we have the rug pulled out from under us as so many have before? Will I panic and feel this tightness for the next four years?
I feel like it needs to happen now otherwise it never will.

Is this normal that I am thinking this way? Do other people hold such fears so far out?