what matters and why

mistake

7/2/01
8:00am

I am wondering if I made a mistake in volunteering my babysitting services to a friend, not just for a while, full time while she's at work. He's almost two, but so different from mine at that age. Such a completely different child, personality wise. And I don't know if I'm ready for this challenge. He is going to require an incredible amount of work, and I did not realize that when I offered myself for this job. The thing is, it seems to me that he'd be a little better off if his parents only worked with him or if he hadn't spent the last two years in day care. Or I wonder if he just has an attention defecit problem, which is very likely, considering his parents. I am so nervous about this. I agreed happily at first. It's something that I have always considered doing, providing care for another child in my home for a little extra money, not that we're starving, but it would be nice to have something to spend on unnecessary things, and my husband loves the idea, and can't wait for me to start getting paid. But I don't know what I got myself into. Am I really ready to give up my time like this? I am going to have to be so unselfish here, as he requires constant attention. That's what bothers me, because at his age, that shouldn't be the case. He should be able to play for certain amounts of time unsupervised. Mine could at that age, and does extremely well now. But this one will not even sit still to read a book, or play with one toy for more than five minutes. What made me think I could handle him every day, and take nine hours at school I honestly don't know. I'm taking into consideration that if this is going to be a long term thing, that he will adjust to our schedule and maybe calm down a little bit. I'm hoping that being here, in a less tense environment than in his own home, that he will adapt. Should that not happen I will deal with that then. We already agreed that if it didn't work out, there would be no hard feelings. I'm still rethinking this over and over again. I'm just not sure if I can handle it. I'm good with kids, especially one on one as this would be. But can I change what they've learned over a time span of two years. Am I strong enough to give him the discipline he needs, and do I really want to see her every single day? I guess I'll find out, in one month.