Rants on lit. from Guatemala

Sober up my friend

Music: “Judith” by a perfect circle. I like this song a lot… and specially the video. They got this interesting looking Argentinean bass player who ties her hair up in a pony tail when there is a brake in the song. Very cool.

Reading: Ibid. also I´ve been reading a lot of poetry lately. Works by Neruda, Juan Dieguez, Sor Juana Inés de la cruz, and Marco Antonio Flores. Hey, Poetry is interesting… not that I would accept it if you talked to me on the street.

Everything is becoming confusing. I have had a lot of arduous work… haven’t been home for quite a bit of time… I mist Roulas messages twice. I have to coordinate better. But for all that has happened, at least I have Mariana to read my little rants.

I was trying to get the next story on Friday, but my writing just stopped. I cant figure out the characters or the right ambiance. Mariana says I’m on a literary crisis… perhaps it is a life crisis… but I’m so tired, I don’t even have the strength to bitch about it.

I have read a poem by Neruda that remind me of Roula, but couldn’t translate the thing to save my life. And I know how she hates my translations… so best leave it alone. The hole mountain of perception has been falling… landing on my thoughts… everything is like looking at a collage of unfinished images… un connected. Like I couldn’t focus enough.

There was this time… I don’t know precisely when… that I was talking to Aleyda and she told me: “do you know what a word can do… it can change your hole perspective…” Something along this lines… And I remember because it was in relation to “couple relationships” And they are… I have found out… they are profound, specially if you haven’t heard them from anybody before. Words could be your undoing. But only in the right time.

Timing for this moments of bliss or doom derived from word impact has to be perfect. You have to become vulnerable enough to accept them. Like in my case a touch from anybody… And is this fact that seems to work on some level of randomness. I don’t think I have ever said the correct word… and very few people have said the correct word to me.

It seems like the hole world is trying to communicate… to make the anemic link between one another… but the communication switches on and off in a random order… so very few people understand each other…

I hate this… I should learn to trust people… Roula said… but people are difficult to trust.

Amalia says: And you’ll end up where you started.

My friends from Here… I mean the ones that I can reach and really touch have stopped calling… or maybe I just stopped talking… ether way… I seem to be writing (nothing creative) a lot more than talking.

k. I’ll stop now.