Me, myself and the public

Moving swiftly on...

Hey again,
I finally have some reason to celebrate because I have the week off from school. This is really helpful because I now have the oppurtunity to write as much as I want, making moi a very happy bunny.
The last week of school was a thing called mission week. Basically all these religious people came and preached about God to us using various plays. Exciting(!) the only reason the happy-go-lucky team weren't having their intestines hang spectaculary in the school hall was because of clean cut, 'fit as heaven' Peter. Couldn't see what the hell was so bloody special. I mean he wore the same ironed jeans and non-creased red jumper for the whole week! Ah-the smell must have been horrific-unless in cartoon character style, he has sevaral pairs of the same pair of jeans and the same red jacket-freaky, just freaky.
Anyhoo, my mates didn't seem to mind. They even went to prayer just so they could see him!
But, the highlight of that twisted week-no wait there's two-no, four. The first one was reconciliation at the middle of the week. Most of it was boring, but at the end we had to write down our sin on a bit of paper then drop it in this massive fire. While we were writing it down the speakers were playing David Gray 'Please Forgive me' (one of my favourite songs of all time). Somehow, their ramblings had got me into the mood and felt more in love with Jack than ever. For some wierd reason I decided to tell my friend Maggie* (*name changed) that I was in love, and moreover, that Iam petrified of love, especially the type I felt for Jack. When I told her that I liked him in the first place she was shocked as well as angry. She found it almost impossible to understand, because she really hates him. The hate for him almost drove a wedge between us, especially when she called a slut when I said that i would treat, if that me and Jack and me got together, that if the time was right and we were really in tune, that i would willingly lose my virginity to him.
I told her anyway, and she told me that it wasn't a sin, as I had written it down on my confession sheet. I think she has almost understood, we are much closer now anyway.
But, my biggest worry is not will I enter for that poetry competition, or worry over my stupid friends' petty fights, it is...well, (I hate talking about this, whenever I think about it now, my stomach ties in knots but I feel like i'm gonna throw and my eyes fill with tears, it's also that, it makes me feel lost, and the thoughts and things that I would do with and for him in a heartbeat scares the hell out of me, and makes me wonder if this 'pusuit' for him and to reach him...it just gives me doubts and it scares me I guess, more than anything...?) I have this fear that um, Jack and Beebo (carol's ex-friend) are sleeping together. Basically Beebs is notorious for giving any guy she's associated with (boyfriend, boymate or simple crush) blow-jobs, shiners(that's an english term innit?) and well shags them-basically she isn't bad looking. And Jack has low self-esteem behind his smarm and 'charm'. He says that no one will ever fancy him, and he's critcising his own physique all the time. AND they've gotten really close lately, good mates and stuff, hanging out all the time. But surely he can figure her out as the manipulative bitch she is(and belive me, it isn't bias) and surely he can resist the temptation...right? I mean, they surely can't be sleeping together-right?

Oh, that's it-I'm phoning my friends, I ain't gonna let this slut destroy me. That's right!