Thoughts and Feelings by Jake

Attaining your goals and beating your doubts

Life can seem so complicated. It can seem so unfair. Why are others happier than us? Why does it feel like things go the right way for others and not for us? Luck, fate, or what ever you want to call is determined by what we want and how we feel. If we think and believe that truly in our hearts we are destined for better things it will happen. It may not happen right away but it will happen.
I think about how much money is spent on the self-help industry. How many programs and books that are out there for those of us who seek answers. The lesson to learn is this...There is not one true answer for everyone. Many scientists and scholars try to study behavior and try to place the blame on one specific thing such as...environment, or it has to do with family, or it has to do with genetics. In some cases they are right but each does not hold true for each and everyone of us. How do you explain that person who grew up in an awful environment with perfect family and great genetics that never sees success or happiness in their lifetime? How is it that the poorest, lowliest person who never had a family or not even the right genetics whatsoever grows up to fulfill everyone of his or her dreams?
Much of it has to do with focus. Focusing on your goals, believing in yourself, and going for it. Not letting anyone stand in your way. Not letting anyone tell you no and believing they are right. Now you may say, well I have tried that only to fail. I would get these great bursts of energy, believe in myself and feel that I would obtain them only to have a little time pass by and end up back where I started.
My answer to that is this. The self-help industry with all their books and programs are right in what they are saying, but why don't they work you may ask. It is because you give up on them. Which I fully understand and can relate to. What I suggest is if you can change your life on your own and somehow you can find the willpower to persue what the self-helps tell you to do then do it. Find one book, read it, follow the steps. and do it. Stick with it. You will find that you are more fulfilled and happy with yourself if you do it when you do want to. When you don't feel like it. Just do it. It can be analogous to taking a shower in the morning. When you get up you do not want to do anything. You feel like crap and you do not want to get up. But when you force yourself to do it, after you take that shower you say to yourself, WOW, I feel so much better! That is if you feel that you can do it on your own and you really want to do it.
You may ask, well which book or program should I do, honestly, it does not matter for they are all pretty much the same, just different words and authors. The key is staying focused. "Awaken the giant from within," by Anthony Robbins is pretty good. But any will work.
The basic key to anything is to not focus on the end goal, that is where many go wrong. They see that end goal, they make it too big and when they do not reach it they get disgruntled and upset and they stop. You have to make small little baby step goals. DO it for each month, or week, or day, or whatever, then go for each. AS you begin to accomplish each you will look back and say "that wasn't too hard," and the belief in yourself will grow and before you know it, it will become second nature. Then that end goal will only get closer and more attainable.
Now to address those 90% who end up failing in their attempts to right themselves. Those that try to do it, but it never happens and they just get more distraught. The answer is to find someone you know that can keep you on track. It is similar to having a sponsor in A.A.. It is for support. Preferably choose someone who may have already accomplished what you want or is going to or has their head on straight. Find a mentor and confidante, someone who can keep on you when you don't want to do it. I know that most people have difficulty accomplishing things on their own, but when they are forced to do it they will do it. Also try to think of each goal as something that you have to do, not something that you can easily blow off. Think of it like a job, you have to go to pay bills, you don't always think about it, you just do it. Good luck and I hope all of your dreams and goals do come true. Just a thought.

Jake