I knew this would happen...

heavy heart

this is it
I knew this month would be difficult
our baby is due now, any time now
but the time will never come
my stomach is still as flat as ever
the baby is gone
forever a mystery
never to be known
never to be held
never to be...

maybe when this month is over
maybe things will get better
maybe counting the days will end
maybe the second week of every month will not be full of sorrow

a memory
a time past
a dream never realised

maybe it will all just be a dream
a faint rememberance of something that once was
like a forgotten love
that is never quite forgotten
but remembered fondly
with all the other times that could have been
and never were