Once Upon A Shadow, Deep Inside A Dream

Tears I Never Cried 8-28-02

The Tears I Never Cried

She was looking at me, waiting for me to speak,
Her eyes were full of despair, her lips in a frown,
She seemed waiting for something she couldn't seek,
For I refused to let her bring me down.
I kept my face as solid as stone, my eyes cold,
I shook my head slowly and hid my pain,
There was nothing for me to do, no grasp to hold,
She would have to deal with it, her own private stain.

They told me my dog was dead, hit by a car,
I didn't believe them but my best friend never came back,
I was all alone in my room when I broke my crystal star,
I piled all my dogs pictures into a stack,
I lit the match and watched them burn away,
Then I hid the evidence and laughed out loud,
My parents watched me closely, they didn't know what to say,
I didn't shed a public tear, I am very proud.

I was refused a chance to marry you, my love,
A chance for happiness with you forever more,
All because I couldn't voice what I felt, love,
All because I couldn't lift my eyes from the floor.
I wish you the best, my dear heart, forever,
I wish you freedom from all worries and fears,
And if you shall ever see me, wherever,
The wetness in my eyes are not tears.