Completed Works

A Story From The Other Side Of Insanity

a story from the other side of insanity:
THE CAUSE

“Once in awhile, someone has to be the one to make things happen. Someone has to overstep the bounds and have all the power; all the comforts of control. But that someone is usually evil and only death can come from their gains. Am I one of those people? I don’t think so. I, unfortunately have people that feel otherwise. I don’t have to make things happen, they just happen. I don’t have to have all the power, I just receive it. I don’t need the comforts of control, I crave it. I am not evil. I am not good either. When push comes to shove, I shove and push. I end and I start. I can do only harm. But I am not evil.”

“So, that is really it? You’re not evil? You think that makes this okay? That it condones your actions?”

“Did I say that? I don’t recall ever saying that. But you weren’t here when all this started, were you? You came in the middle, like so many others and just like so many others, you stayed till the end. That being the case you felt that all you had to do was show false anger and that would make you the great one. Let me let you in on something…there is no great one. And if there is, it isn’t you. No. If there is a great one, he has been here through it all and has anticipated everything. The great one does not assume because he knows all. But you assume, all because you missed the beginning, the important part of the story.”

“Did I?”

“You know that you did. Had you been here for the beginning, you wouldn’t be so brave. You would be like all the rest, terrified and humble.”

“You claim you were here from the beginning.”

“I was.”

“And yet you are not humble.”

“Why should I be? I caused all this. And I am not evil. I made people crazy. I terrified them and humbled them. I did. I brought them the fear that now burns bright and I would do it again. I caused this. I am not evil.”

“So you’ve said…why don’t you tell me how all this happened? I need to know. I am not the great one.”

“I know.”

“Tell me.”

“Very well. I hope you can handle it. Oh well, even if you can’t, I think I can handle the making of one more insane soul.”

“I’m ready.”

“That’s what they all said. Everyone that I approached said they were ready but they weren’t. They thought I was the crazy one but I showed them. I showed them all. They laughed at me. They claimed they were better than me. I showed them though. Just like I will show you. You see, the people here, they belong to me, all of them. I like you and I would like you to belong to me too. So, I will tell you. From the beginning. I will tell you all. And you say that you are ready. Well, I am ready too, I am prepared. There is always room for one more.

“I saw my first friend on a lovely Wednesday morning, in July, I believe. It was a warm day and I was just normal then. Normal and alive. Did I mention I am dead? I have been so for many years now. Do you believe that?”

“Yes.”

“You lie, but that doesn’t matter. Everyone is the same in the end. Crazy. Crazy because I make them so. And you shall be crazy too, soon. But, when I saw my first friend, I realized how lonely I was and how normal. So, I approached her and took her to the abyss and there, I left her. She thought she could find her way out, but, I led her there and there she stayed till she died. But, unlike me, she is dead dead. I am dead alive. Do you understand?”

“I will soon.”

“Yes, soon enough for I will lead you to the abyss as well and you will go willingly thinking that you, unlike the others, will get out. But you won’t.”

“I won’t?”

“No. The others thought they were better than the ones before but they died there too. You see, there is no way out, only a way in.”

“Then how do you get out?”

“I am dead.”

“Oh, so there is a way out…death.”

“No. You will die but I live on. You will never understand. I am dead alive, you will be dead dead. I am free you will be trapped and it will always remain so. They all died there, every single one that I led there, died there. It will be the same always, no exceptions.”

“You are not an exception?”

“No, I built the abyss. It is mine and I am its. I control everything there and everything there controls me. I close all exits and it opens all entrances. I told everyone this and everyone laughed. But, they laugh no more. The last I heard were pleas for life and I laughed at that. They wanted forgiveness but that is something I won’t give. You haven’t laughed though. But you will. They always do.”

“Do they?”

“Yes, of course they do. And that is why they die. I am dead too. Do you believe me?”

“Yes.”

“I think that maybe you do. I led them there, one by one till I was surrounded by friends. But they didn’t want to be my friends after I led them there. They cursed me and said that I should die. Soon, I did, but so did they. I am dead alive.”

“I know.”

“I know you know. You know because I told you and that is the only reason why you know. But that doesn’t matter to you either does it?”

“I don’t—“

“No of course you don’t . I don’t either. And that is how we enter the abyss. Look around you. Sniff the rancid air and let the sulfur burn your eyes. We are not too far in…you can turn back.”

“Let’s go on.”

“Yes lets do. Further and further I led them in. A little bit of pleasure mixed in with a little bit of fear. Are you afraid?”

“No.”

“I know. I was just seeing if you would lie to please me. I am glad that you are honest with me. I am glad that you are coming with me. Everyone else is dead dead but I am dead alive. Do you want to be dead dead or dead alive?”

“Neither.”

“That was not a choice! Oh, did I yell? I am sorry. We are getting a little bit too far in. Do you want to turn back?”

“Further into the abyss.”

“You think you can get out, don’t you? You think this is all a game. You think I am a crazy person that can’t harm you. But you are wrong. I can harm you. Now, we are too far in and I can say, yes I am crazy but I’m not evil. I’m dead alive. I’ll show you. Just like I showed them, I’ll show you.

“Look there. It is one of the remaining wanderers that entered here with me. See how he shies away? He is afraid of me. I hold him here and he hates me. His hate fuels me and then he fears me. His fear feeds me then he is sad. His sadness guides me and then I hold him here and he hates me. Do you hate me?”

“No. Should I?”

“Yes, everyone should. They all think that I am evil but I am not. I am not evil.”

“Neither am I.”

“I know. I know everything. I chose who comes here and I chose you. You think that you chose me. You feel that you chose to study me instead of the other way around. Here is where we rest. Do you see that black cloud hanging over our heads?”

“Yes I do.”

“Do you see how thick it is?”

“Yes.”

“That is the hate. I like the hate everyone here feels for me. I am their master and I will be yours. Do you want to get out of here when I am done?”

“Yes.”

“Then don’t hate me, that is one of the traps I set up when I built the abyss.”

“Okay.”

“Lets continue. This is where I left my first friend. She was weak and she wanted to go back but it was too late. She wept and begged and I laughed and laughed. Stay here, I said, and die here. I left her weeping. She fell to her knees, that was the best. Seeing her groveling on this ugly ground. Such a beautiful creature in such an ugly world. Yes, that was a sight to behold. That was enough to make me crave more. But I am not evil, I am dead alive.”

“And she is dead dead.”

“Yes. You know that. You know that because I told you. I led them here one by one, each one further and further in till they all wept. I waited till they wept. Will you weep?”

“No.”

“Good. That is another trap I set in my abyss. See that ugly slimy creature?”

“Yes.”

“That is the fear. There is one for everyone. Are you afraid of me?”

“No.”

“No. Why should you be? Do you want to rest or go on?”

“Go on.”

“Very well. Their weeping and their hate, trapping them here, making them mine. And whatever is mine belongs to the abyss. Whatever belongs to the abyss belongs to me. You belong to me but not to the abyss. Do you know why?”

“I believe so.”

“Lies. You like to lie. No, you don’t. You lie when it suits you to lie. I do the same. Who doesn’t? They all lied to me, telling me that they would be my friends if I let them out but I knew better. I told them there was no way out only a way in and every way is different. They wept and drooled and I laughed and left and I told them, stay here and die. And they did. I did too. But they are dead dead. I am dead alive.”

“I know.”

“I know too. I think that we are almost to the center of my creation and my creation is almost to the center of us. Are you afraid of me?”

“No.”

“No, why should you be? The fear comes first, then the weeping then the hate. The weeping and the hate are the traps I have set here, to keep them here and here they stay till they die here. They are dead dead. I am dead alive. Which do you want to be?”

“Neither.”

“You have to choose one! Oh my, I yelled again didn’t I? Well, you don’t really have to choose one. Are you afraid of me?”

“No.”

“No, why should you be? I know why you should be. Because. Because I can keep you here…trap you…that’s why. Are you afraid of me?”

“Are you afraid of me?”

“No. Lets go on. Soon we shall reach the center of the abyss and the abyss shall reach the center of us. And at that time you shall see the greatest thing the abyss has to offer. All the souls I brought here remained here. But I am not evil. See those puddles of black liquid?”

“Yes.”

“Those are sadness. Weeping of the souls I brought here. They guide me to the souls still wandering. The souls are making their ways to the center of the abyss and the center of the abyss is coming to them. Are you afraid of me?”

“No.”

“Are you afraid of the abyss?”

“No.”

“Are you afraid of the center of the abyss?”

“Is the abyss afraid of the center of me?”

“No.”

“Then neither am I afraid of the center of the abyss.”

“Why should you be? Further and further in we go. Do you feel the abyss entering your center? Soon you and the abyss will be one, centers joined. But you don’t hate me do you?”

“No.”

“That is one of my traps, hate. There it is, the center of the abyss. My creations soul. Do you see it?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And it is hideous.”

“Are you afraid?”

“No.”

“Is it touching your center? Can you feel its grip on you?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And its hideous.”

“Are you afraid?”

“No.”

“Do you see the others? Drawn to it, they are. And they like it. They hate me but they love my creations soul. They thrive on it. They are dead dead. I am dead alive. Do you hear it calling?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And it is hideous.”

“Are you afraid?”

“No.”

“It is beautiful, its call. Its touch on your center, bonding it to itself so that once you are dead dead, you can find it. Do you want to find it?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Never.”

“That is wrong…it is beautiful.”

“It is hideous.”

“You have been misled. All your life of normality has caused you to ignore the centers call. My creations soul is reaching for yours but you care not. And you are not even afraid. You just stand there calm and upright in the center of the abyss. There is no way out. Do you want out?”

“Yes.”

“Then say you think this is beautiful. Say you want to be dead dead and then you shall be free. And then I shall let you out. Say it. Say it to the center.”

“I want to be dead alive.”

“No! It can’t claim you then. You want it to claim you. Don’t you see how happy the souls are? They are happy because they are claimed.”

“I want to be dead alive.”

“Please. I love you. If I love you, that means the abyss loves you. The soul of the abyss loves you. Love it.”

“I WANT TO BE DEAD ALIVE!”

“Fine! Go. Be dead alive. You will be back. Do you want to come back in with me some other day?”

“No.”

“You will. I am not evil. I am the end and the start.”

“Let me tell you something. Here, away from the abyss. Here where you are not in control. I was afraid. I was scared to death of you and the abyss. But I won, I beat you and your creation. I faced your creations soul and survived. And I was scared. That is the funny thing, I was scared.”

“You’ll be back. I am not evil. I caused it. I showed them. I am dead alive. They are dead dead but I am dead alive. You’ll be back. Are you afraid of me?”

“Good-bye my dear. I hope you can eventually join your creations soul and be happy.”

“I love you. My creation loves you. You’ll be back. I’m not evil…I’m not evil.”

The Abyss