Journal

old entry

this is an old entry that i thought i should add..........


some of my friends are just drama, drama drama. they bog me down with their problems and worries. one of my best friends is like that; she is always freaking out about something, one day it is what her p.e teacher said about her report the next day she's unable to go home because her parents aren't home and her older brother is in a drunken rage again. every time i talk to her she is freaking out. it didn't used to be like this, when i first became friends with her we would always laugh and have inside jokes. now it hasn't stoped but it has become rare. she comes to my house weekends and hides herself in a cornor, the only time i can get her to talk to me are when we are alone rideing bikes. but as soon as we get back to my house she refuses to speak to anyone. my other best friend lives with me and the 2 of them are pretty good friends, and when dee (chick who lives w/ me) tries to talk to her she gets shut down. i know she is freaking out but still i feel bogged down. every time i talk to her it is always about how her life sucks and stuff. i don't think she is seeing all the silver lineing. she is beautiful, smart, and a very talented pow wow dancer. how do i stop listening to this poisen? every time i talk to her i try to cheer her up but it never seems to work; but i am the only person she can talk to like she does. what am i supposed to do?
every time shit gets tough she calls me and hints at sucide, or she sends me a letter thanking me for being a friend and saying good bye. every time i freak out. she sent me a note one day and i seriously had a nervous breakdown, it is in my nature to help people; but what if the person is unwilling to help themself?? what then? do i just stand by and watch? do i distance my self>?? that seems a bit too selfish. but my whole mentality gets screwed up when i talk to her................

i wrote this a couple of weeks ago, the girl i was talking about just moved, i hope that everything will turn out all right with her; i'm still in contact and if there is any more drama i will probably whine about it so if you have any intrest whatsoever you will be updated ;)