It's Me (and I like 'em tall!)

the real feelings

I just rambled in a "catch up" journal entry. Now here it comes. What I really have running around in my head.

Things haven't been the same at GU since I got back from Christmas break. Something is different. I don't know exactly what it is, but I know it hurts...a lot. I'm just not happy. People keep inviting me to a million place and I just can't bare to be around everyone. I tried to go to "movie night" tonight, but I couldn't stay longer than ten minutes or so. Something inside me is sad.
I sleep...a lot. It's our winter term right now. It's three weeks of just one class. My class is from 1-4....but we're usually out by 2 or so. The class isn't bad. It's not super exciting, but it's not hard. Linda and I are taking Holography. We make holograms all afternoon. I sleep until 10:30, go to lunch, go to class, go to work, sit in my room, talk to tyler, sit, sit, go to bed and start the process all over again.
I don't really get invited to Cheville anymore. I think that has something to do with it. Not only does Jordan treat me different, but the guys on Cheville treat me different now that Linda and Jordan are dating. It usually consists of Jordan calling, Linda putting on her coat and saying "I'm going to Cheville" as she's walking out the door. At first she was doing really well at not forgeting about me, but it's all downhill from there. For instance, we made plans on Sunday for Tuesday night. Brandon Stowell (long story) was coming to visit on Tuesday. I didn't want to be here alone when he showed up because I was nervous. Linda, Jordan, and possibly Tyler were going to come hang out with me. Well, Linda went to Cheville at around 2:00 and 10 minutes later Brandon showed up...I was alone. Oh well. It was great to see him, and I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. Well, Jordan came here at around 7:30, neither Jordan or Linda said a word to me and at 9ish (as they were leaving) Linda asked if I was going to the Toga Party. I didn't even know about it. And we had already made plans. I protested. I sat in my room and talked to Tyler for most of the night. I was so freakin' hurt. She has no clue. I can't tell her. I can hardly stand to look at her and Jordan now. I don't know what to do. I have to live with her. I love her. She is one of my best friends. I just can't handle this right now. She, she, I don't knwo. Never mind. She might read this. I feel so bad, but I can't help it. I guess I'll just go to bed. Maybe it will be better tomorrow. (probably not though.)

~KIM

HELP!

P.S. I kinda feel Tyler is all I have at Graceland right now. Our friendship has grown tons in the past few weeks. He's dealing with his own issues right now...and as much as we need each other, I don't want to suffocate him. This is where Linda would come in. I don't have many close friends that I can confide in here, and I feel like I'm losing one.