Life in it's own way

First entry, new beginning

My first entry in my new online diary. I was kinda getting tired of the lack of space on expage, so here I am!
Time seems to be going so fast lately, and so much has changed, yet everything is still the same..
I spend my days in the same routine almost everyday, working, sleeping.. i spend my days trapped inside my own life, and that is a life that I love, in a way, but sometimes I just feel like breaking free..
I have a job, a job which I love, some days more than others, but generally I really like it.
Then I have my own place, which I really love, I can do whatever I want to, whenever I want to, and I just can't tell you how much I love it.
I spend my days off with my friends, some here in Amsterdam, most in Almere, where I used to live, and as much as I love all of this, I don't know if I'll be able to explain this, but all these things keep me trapped here. I would love to pack up my stuff and go who knows where, travel the world, stay away for a year or so, but then I would lose my job, my appartment, everything.
The longer I stay here, like this, the more I built a life around me that will keep me here. And that scares me sometimes. What if i spend the rest of my life here? What if I never get to do the things I've always wanted to do and dreamed of.. In the hospital I talk to so many old people, and they keep telling me, do what you want to do before it's to late. You always think you'll have plenty of time to do what you want, but if you'll keep saying that, you'll end up just like them, alone in bed, thinking of all the things they've always wanted to do but never did.. And then it'll be to late.
What am I going on and on about? Who cares anyway?
Today has been totally about Erik, my x-bf. Yesterday he called me 3 times, to talk, but I was afraid to pick up the phone, so he emailed me etc, asking me if I could call him, because we needed to talk, but I was too scared to, so I didn't.
So this morning I saw him on msn, and so I told him that I didn't get his messages until late last night, and that I didn't want to wake him.. I don't think he believed me, but ok.
So we talked (again) and he started asking questions about why I broke up (again), questions I couldn't answer, I tried to explain a million times, but he just doesn't get it. So then we decided (again) that we shouldn't be seeing eachother or talking over msn anymore, and said goodbye. I was very relieved, he keeps making things so difficult for me!!
But then, not even 10 minutes later he sent me an email. About how he still didn't understand etc. I didn't reply, I mean, we just decided not to talk to each other anymore, and to leave each other alone. Then he started talking to me over msn again, once again, I didn't talk back, then I got another email, by that time I was really annoyed, and when I opened that email I was thinking of sending a reply asking him to please leave me alone. But in that email he said some more things, and said goodbye again (he sort of is that dramatic type of person..) and asked me not to reply on it. So that was it, at least by ending it like this I know I won't miss him anymore, he has been way to annoying these past few days!!
So, now that is over I'm totally free and single again!! yay!!
That'll be it for now, not much interesting to tell you all today.
Love you all!!
BTW, the name of my diary 'like me' the 'like'part isn't meant as like as in 'liking somebody', but as in 'just like me'.. Just wanted to explain that..