rolling down a hill in a barrel with the inside covered in razor-wire |
Hey people that still manage to meander their way into my portfolio. I wont be writing much for very long. Like my previous journal entry stated, i went to go inlist in the army. And that I did. April 28th of 2003, I offically send out my good byes and head out for Basic Training. Then Officer Training...then my Special Forces training. I'm going to be a ranger. Many people have asked me, 'what brought this on?' and the inevitable 'why?'...and to them I say this. For a long time now i've felt like my ass was the base of all my actions. I was lazy. My self motivation had completely deteriorated, my body which had once begun to shape and tone, started to fall back to its original lump. I've dropped out of College twice now, the first due to a series of home issues, the second time just general laziness. Another thing that has been in my head for a while now. When i was dating crystal i had mentioned something about me not being man enough for her. The general idea of it was the fact that I don't act like a man, but I'm too sensitive and femalesque... so i've thought about it. seriously hard. and i realized i've never once felt like a man my entire life. nothing has ever stood out in my mind that left me feeling proud of being a man. And as rediculous as that may sound, for a reason for going, its something i've built up in my self. I've felt i needed to change myself for a while now and i know im taking the steps to do so. So...im saying my toodles. Thank you writing.com for your time. And to all my readers, and to all of those authors that i have had the pleasure of reading their work, i wish you all luck. Writing.Com, tu eres mi corazon. |