Fighting the Current

"Solitude stands by the window..."

Solitude stands by the window
She turns her head as I walk in the room
I can see by her eyes she's been waiting
Standing in the slant of the late afternoon

And she turns to me with her hand extended
Her palm is split with a flower with a flame

Solitude stands in the doorway
And I'm struck once again by her black silhouette
By her long cool stare and her silence
I suddenly remember each time we've met

And she turns to me with her hand extended
Her palm is split with a flower with a flame

And she says, "I've come to set a twisted thing straight"
And she says, "I've come to lighten this dark heart"
And she takes my wrist, I feel her imprint of fear
And I say "I've never thought of finding you here"

I turn to the crowd as they're watching
They're sitting all together in the dark in the warm
I wanted to be in there among them
I see how their eyes are gathered into one

And then she turns to me with her hand extended
Her palm is split with a flower with a flame...
- "Solitude Standing," Susanne Vega

I heard that song on the radio this morning and loved it. Haunting and pretty and strange. It's over ten years old. Trying to download it now.

A paper on Horace to do. It will be short, so I can procrastinate a few more minutes at least.

We had to write a short paper over the weekend debating whether FDR knew about Pearl Harbor before it happened. I really think he did, but he chose the lesser of two evils. He could have just let the Axis destroy Europe and eastern Asia, but he knew more lives would be lost than if America entered the war.

My printer light is blinking in-sync with the beat of the music playing (the Cranberries). Weird.

Why do people persist in torturing each other?

I was walking through the mall on Friday or Saturday night, and saw a girl from my brother's class. She is eleven or twelve, and was walking through the mall with her boyfriend. It bothered me then, just seeing those two walking through the mall hand-in-hand. Discovered today that he is sixteen, and that she brags about making out with him. That's really, really sad--on both parts. It's my understanding that she's had older boyfriends for several years now.

Seeing that girl in the mall bothered me for another reason. With a shock I realized that that could be my cousin, who is also about twelve. Hanging out in malls, quite possibly having a somewhat serious boyfriend at her age... I doubt her parents would know... And I wonder if they would care... She's sort of the forgotten daughter, the lesser sister of two. ::sigh:: I feel so terrible for her. And there is not a darn thing I can do or say... And if I did say anything about my cousin, it would inevitably spill into my telling them a million other problems they are too blind to notice, or just don't care enough to change...

I keep clenching my teeth recently. Frustrations I think.

Déjà vu more frequently than ever. Really annoying and really disturbing.

Argh! I keep finding myself acting like characters... I thought I was over that, apparently not. At least it's not as bad as it once was... I pray I will never let it get that bad again.

There are times when having an extremely vivid imagination is more a curse than a blessing.

Some people are so hard to figure out... And sometimes it's even harder to discover that there is nothing (or next to nothing) to figure out about them...

Ah, well. To a paper about Horace!