aumsworld

Tactful Do's and Dont's

No one's perfect, and that's truer for some people than it is for others - ie. me. Oh, I'm no monster, I guess, but I seem to have a gift for candidly bringing out the flames from the meekest people and the tears from the coolest; blame it all on the potential Eight Deadly Sin and my own greatest weakness - Tactlessness. Recently, after having provoked a dozen or so of close acquaintances into screaming for my blood, I finally decided to work a little on this flaw of mine, and, well, this list is one of the many results I obtained. All of it comes from first-hand research, and IS NOT meant to point the finger or accuse anyone. It's just for fun, get it, guys? Although I do hope none of my victims are reading this right now...

Tactful Do’s and Dont's

1 - Don’t tell a girl who sniffles or coughs that she might be coming down with a case of the Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome.

2 - If a woman on the slightly plump side walks up to you and asks you, “Am I fat?” don’t answer her. Rather, evade the question by producing a random platitude in the style of, “You know, during the Renaissance era, fleshy women were a widespread beauty ideal” and then adroitly orient the discussion towards Greek mythology or Botticelli.

3 - Never tell a man with a rather unpredictable romantic life that he is a “girl-chaser” or “desperate for a mate.” Instead, call him a “ladies’ man” or, better yet, a “connoisseur of feminine beauty.”

4 - If, at the end of a bad meal and after a particularly awful service, the server at the restaurant brings you an exorbitant note, abstain from bursting into unladylike expletives or making a scene. Simply pay your note with a resigned sigh. You’re allowed to depart without leaving a tip.

5 - Don’t ask “What’s that supposed to be?” to an art student working on an abstract painting. Worse yet, don’t hang the painting upside-down once it is finished.

6 - Don’t argue politics with anyone who’s not a Canadian. * (That’s because Canadians tend to be notably neuter in opinion, especially when it comes to international conflicts )

7 - Don’t walk into church carrying a boom box that’s blasting Dr. Dre’s latest gangsta rap success.

8 - Don’t ask “Yo Habla Espanol?” to someone who’s trying, with limited success, to address you in French. (I do that ALL the time... *shakes head and clucks tongue*)

9 - Don’t comment on your boyfriend’s driving (read: street-racing) habits.

10 - If someone makes any of the aforementioned untactful mistakes at you, don’t try to strike back. Swallow it and smile

(Aum says: This isn't fiction. I've done each and every single one of these stupid diplomatic mistakes before, and more. Jeez, I really am clueless, wot?)

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