A peek at the REAL Thumbster

Tomorrow's The Night!!!!

I haven't felt much like writing lately. I've been writing depressing stuff recently it seems. Have you noticed? No? Why the Hell not? I have. I want it to stop now. That doesn't mean it will...just that I'd like it to stop.

I seem to spend much of my time on line emailing these days. I've said before I think much of my best writing has been in emails. Yes that's right. I may sound like an illiterate moron right now but not in my emails. Trust me. That is unless you intimidate me for some reason...then I might get flustered and start to babble. Once I start babbling I don't seem so cool and sophisticated...especially if I get the eye twitch thingy going. So if for some reason we email each other and I sound a bit rattled...EASE UP!!!!...You're freakin' me out. Otherwise I'm just like James Bond...I mean Bond James Bond. Naw...he's too predictable. I'm more like...Hmmmmmmmmmmmm? Steve Irwin...I think that's his name...the croc guy from down under. I like his attitude. I'm not entirely sure why he feels the need to get up close and personal with critters...especially the bigger nasty ones...but I do like his joy of life. I see alot of him in me. Stop it you sicko...I hear you snickering out there. Ooooooooooo I have to watch everything I say around you don't I? Well I just want you to know that it's only YOU that noticed that. All my other readers are very well behaved...no problem at all. In fact we often get together after reading each other's journals for tea and cookies. I'm sorry you've never been invited but it's coz of all that snickering you do. You have a way of making everyone think they've just said something very naughty. Shame on you. If you'd like to stay...and maybe get a cookie later...just sit over there and be quiet. That's better.

I was talking to Amy today...

But this is secret stuff for "Amys only". If you're not named Amy then you'll have to cover your eyes for a bit till I'm done. Good. Only Amys now remember?

I was getting my Amys confused. I wasn't sure which Amy was the cute Arkansain...Arkansitte...Arkansoligist...whatever...and which was the Amy with only one leg...that's been stalking me wherever I go. I should say trying to stalk me. Seeing as she has only one leg I can usually hear her coming coz she grunts with each hop she takes and all I have to do is walk alittle bit faster to ditch her. Amy's already read that bit in the email I sent her but the other Amys reading this haven't so I stuck it in now. The rest of you should still have your eyes closed. Stop being nosy. You haven't missed much.

Okay...you can peek again. Tomorrow is The Amazing Race!!!! I can hardly wait. See what a full and exciting life I lead? Hey...please grant me this little bit of happiness in an otherwise joyless existance. See...it's always been my dream to work in a slaughterhouse...chopping up cute little animals...(the cuter and littler the animals the better)...into small bite size pieces. Yes...that was the dream...but I had to drop out of slaughterhouse school after only three years coz of one little mistake...ever since I accidently cut off one of my fellow student's left leg...Amy I believe her name was. The school wanted me to pay for an artifical leg for her. I said "no way" so they booted me out of there and crushed my dreams of one day working in a meat packing plant. Still...I think I'll always have Amy nearby. She does quite well considering...except for the grunting. That is REALLY starting to annoy me.

So now I find myself wandering from town to town...mostly as a male hooker with only a sock puppet..."Freddie"...as my only true friend. Do I regret not experiencing the thrill and fullfillment of getting paid to chop up furry little animals? Hell yes!!!! Haven't you been paying attention? It's always been my dream...even as a little boy. I have to put all that behind me now...like I've found they say in the male hooker trade...and just learn to grin and bear it. Hey...why is it that only YOU are snickering? That's really annoying. I never hear Steve Irwin snickering. Even when he's got his head stuck down some crocodile's den with his bum high in the air wearing his khaki shorts...never a snicker.

I think I covered everything I want to get off my chest...Bond James Bond...wooden legs...sock puppets....Yep.

Till later gators.


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