A Journal of my adventures in the world I inhabit while I'm asleep. |
I'm younger in Dreamland tonight, maybe in my early 20's. I live in a small town, and I work in a factory. I stop by the local hardware store on my way home from work; I'm here a couple times of week picking up things for my side job. I'm talking to the clerk as she rings up my purchase. Her name's Estelle, she's a few years older than me. I've seen her here a before. She a little bit shy and kind of plain looking, but a nice person. She comments on my purchase: "Plumbing supplies... Wheren't you in here buying a light fixture on Monday?" "Yeah, I do a lot of different things, I'm a part-time handyman." I tell her. She hesitates for a moment, then says "We have a problem with our kitchen cabinets, they won't stay closed. Do you think you could fix them?" "Sure," I say, "They probably need new latches. Do you know if they have the magnetic kind?" "I'm not sure, could you come over and take a look? I only live two blocks from here, and I get off work in a few minutes..." "OK, I'll wait for you outside." When we get to her house we're greeted by an elderly couple. She introduces me. "I've lived with Aunt Mary and Uncle Sid since I was seven. My parents were killed in a car accident." she says. She shows me the kitchen cabinets, and I can tell immediately what's wrong, the hinge springs are worn. "I can replace them pretty easily but It's getting kinda late. How about if I stop by tomorrow night after work and do it?" "OK," she says. As I'm getting ready to leave, Aunt Mary asks "Would you like to stay for dinner? Estelle doesn't have gentlemen callers very often..." "Sure, thanks, that would be great," I reply. Estelle blushes, embarassed by her Aunt's remark. After dinner, as I'm sipping on a second glass of wine, Sid says "Well kids, it's getting late. We're going to retire for the evening. It was nice meeting you." I respond that I should get going too, but Estelle asks "Would you like to watch some TV with me? My favorite show is coming on." "Sure," I reply. "Thanks!" she says. I can tell she doesn't get much company, she's so happy that I will stay to watch TV with her. "Don't stay up too late Estelle, you have to work in the morning," Aunt Mary calls before she shuts the door to their room. "OK," Estelle replies as she leads me up the stairs. "I have the TV in my room... my Aunt and Uncle don't watch TV," she explains. She turns on the TV and shuts the door. She sits on the edge of the bed and I sit beside her. "So Estelle, what's this favorite show of yours?" "I don't have a favorite show," she says, "I saw my chance to invite you up here after dinner and took it, knowing I'd regret it if I didn't try... Do you know how old I am?" "Uhhh, maybe twenty five?" I guess. "No, I'm twenty nine, and... I'm... I'm still a virgin. I've hardly even dated.... I'm going to be thirty years old tomorrow and I've never been laid... Isn't that pathetic?" "No, no, I don't think so... I think you're a really nice person," I say. "But do you think I'm attractive enough to go to bed with?" she asks. "Well yeah, sure you're attractive," I say. I have a sudden urge to pee from drinking the wine. "Can I use your bathroom?" "It's right through that door," she says. When I walk out of the bathroom I'm surprised to see her sitting on the edge of the bed totally naked. "I'm ready," she says nervously. "Uhhh, this isn't what I expected." "What's the matter, am I really that ugly?" she asks. "No, that's not it... uhh, usually people get to know each other first, you know, have a relationship before they have sex..." I say. "Well, that's what they say, but I've given up on waiting and waiting for that knight on a white horse who never arrives for me. You seemed like a nice guy, so I figured I'd take a chance, now or never. The worse that could happen is you'd take a look at me naked and run away, and I'd still be a virgin... I know I'm no supermodel, but I'm not asking for much. I just want to know what it's like to be with a man, at least once, before I die. Consider it your good deed for the day. You can even leave when you're done and never see me again, if that's what you want... Please?... Just once?..." I don't respond, I just stand there. I don't know what to say. It's not that she's unattractive, I can now see that underneath those baggy clothes she usually wears she's got a pretty nice body. But I feel like this would be wrong, I would be taking advantage of her. "Go away then! Leave!" she says, as she starts to cry. I sit down next to her and cover her with a blanket. I put my arm around her to comfort her, saying "I'm sorry..." She continues to cry, I don't know what to do. I look at the TV, some stupid sitcom is on... After a few minutes she stops sobbing. She puts a hand on my shoulder looks up at me and says softly "Please?..." I kiss her gently... She lets the blanket fall away... She takes my hand from her shoulder and guides it to her breast... |