Just Jul Lee

It's Been Awhile

It's Been Awhile
DATE: June 25, 2003

SWOON! My last entry was in February. Now you should really feel like a journal. I do this often, writing away as if my soul would burst if I didn't get it all out and then silence for a long period of time. Well, here we are.

Published, finally, although not with the book I planned to be published with. Past Vengeance collects dust as I await my friends and family's insights. I don't think anyone is even reading it. I'll just have to go ahead and fix the errors I find and publish without their help. Then they'll complain but it's been, like, four months already.

It is very rare for a book to make me cry. I don't read the sentimental books that others are into. I think that fantasy novels are the absolute best for a wanderer like me. So, I am reading George R. R. Martin.

A Game of Thrones fell into my lap many years ago. I believe I was still in high school, on my way to Kansas for a convention. Crazy! If that's true, it's been seven years or there abouts. I hope that is right. Anyway, I am now on the third book of what I believe will one day be six books.

In the chapter I was reading last night, because I honestly can't put it down, two people died that I hadn't expected to die. Tears filled my eyes and all I can keep saying whenever I think about it is, "That hurts." Man, I'm telling you, it hurts.

Ahem, anyway, I have readjusted my future for about the billionth time (no really) and I have decided, once and for all, that I was meant to act. Deep within me courses the blood of an actress and I can't wait to show all the doubters exactly what I can do.

Which is primarily why I have decided to move to California in January. It is about time I flee New Mexico. Twenty one years I've lived here. Ew! It is time and I can hardly wait.

Ah, speaking of hardly waiting, August 26th LOTR Two Towers comes out. WooHoo! But before that (oh the agony) POTC with my sweetie (I wish) comes out in theaters July 9th. RAISE THE ROOF!! Of course I'm talking about Orlando Bloom. Man alive!

Anyway, off my girlish crush for awhile, there has been a great many developments in my life. I think, though I may not be entirely positive on it, there maybe an inkling of self esteem rising within me. It is quite a shock to realize that I am someone beautiful, even if I'm not model material, and that if none of the men in my life can see that, they don't deserve me.

Ah, it feels good to be me. Truly. Life has reached a pivitol point. All I need to do now is rush to California and become what I am meant to be.

I think it was the fact that I am actually going to be published. Despite all I've written, all that has been said and the fact that I actually won a writing contest, I never truly believed I was a writer. But I am. I'm a writer. Not the best but I have talent.

And therein lies my self esteem. Therein lies Jul Lee.

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