Journal

death

Soon it will have been a year since Preston died. He was my childhood sweetheart/best friend. I am torn about his death, doesn't that sound horrible? His life was a mess, he had just graduated high school, he was partying alot and using some harder drugs. His girlfriend(who was 3 years younger) was about 4 months pregrant with his child. He hadn't spoken to me in a long time, I was to goody-goody I suppose.
A year ago the two of them were driving late at night, I never found out if he was on anything. He swirved for a dog and had a head on collision with another car. He died instantly. His girlfriend died a little later along with the baby.
I wasn't able to cry at his funeral. I tried so hard but I was relieved that he wasn't able to screw his life up and I knew as corny as this sounds, that he was much happier. As everyone passed the family his mom and dad saw me. They had been reletively calm throughout the cermony, but when they saw me they started to sob. I could do nothing but hug them, and promise to myself that this would never be me.

At the time of his death his parents and mine were best friends. We have taken vacations with them and went out to dinner with them regularly. They have a complicated family. Preston and two of their daughters were adopted. One of the girls ran away as a teen and the other, Jenny, is mentally retarded. I am not sure in what way(as a child it was one of those taboo subjects) but she is incapable of thinking above the level of a 12/13 year old. She is now 32 and still living with her parents. Her parents had her tubes tied a couple years ago because she sleeps around with men she doesn't know. They are helpless.
A couple weeks after the funeral my parents invited her to come and play with my little sister and spend the night. Her and my little sis were friends and had mini adventures together. Just like I had with Jenny and Preston when I was little. I don't know where I was that evening after they got back from swimming. They were up in our room playing when Jenny molested my little sister.
All I remeber from that day is being annoyed that Jenny was there (she annoys me, she thinks she has some sort of control over me) and pissed that I got kicked out of my queen sized bed so they could share it. God.
My little sister didn't tell us for months, she was to worried about createing an uproar after preston's funeral and everything. It ate away at her, she would go to bed crying and had a hard time making new friends at school. But it came out and all hell broke loose. I was so angry (still am) my parents were confused and shocked. My brother didn't see the big deal. Since my parents were best friends with hers they wanted to handle the situation delicately and thought about not pressing charges. I flipped out and ditched school to call my grandma. Thank god for her.

I honestly don't know what i would have done, but i suspect i would break my tae kown do rule and beat the living shit out of jenny. My parents pressed charages and 6 months later little has happened. The police have interviewed my little sister and that's about it. Everyone has suggested counseling for my little sister but so far my parents haven't taken her to any.
My parents. I think that they are really smart and have our best intrests at heart most of the time. But in this whole thing they screwed up. I found out that Jenny had molested another child, and they knew and still let my little sister play with her. Jenny and her parents live on an indian reservation and some laws are different there. The last time she was reported the council told her that if anything happened like this again that they would be kicked out of the rez. Are my parents taking that into consideration? They shouldn't.

Right now feels like an anniversery of ending, death. Preston's, my sister's innocence, the 2 month of my ending Dee's friendship, the end of my life on the rez. Yay lets get a cake.