Things I find myself only able to express in words and in this journal - welcome! |
I would like some help becoming more comfortable with who I really am. And I can't admit it to at least some of the world that I do like girls, then will I ever be comfortable with myself? I had that confidence this summer with Sarah. I could have kissed her in front of people and not have really cared, I could have held her hand and I did actually and had people watch us. I told her I loved her with people passing and I didn't care. It was me expressing love for my girlfriend and that was natural to me. But, when she's not around, I'm scared. While I'm here, I'm scared. In Washington I wasn't as scared even without her being around. Why do I want to be in this? I think it'd help me to find ways to tell my parents and provide me with support when I do decide to tell them. Plus support me whenever I had problems involving gay issues. I would be able to make friends who had different sexual orientations or the same as mine. And that helps a lot when you're able to talk about your sexual preferences. I would be exposed ot girls that would actually be interested in dating other girls, so that would be a test for my relationship with Sarah, but one I can do perfectly on. I love Sarah and it's her that I dream about being with. I just would like some friends who I could talk to stuff about and when I said "such and such actress is really hot/cute"...then she could agree. It's me searching for a way to belong also. A way to find a group of people who understand. But, hey, at least I know it. |