Journal

this is getting annoying

i am so tired of getting "d's" in english! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm supposed to be good at this! if i am not what do i have?! i can't play sports, do math/ science, i can't sew, i'm an "ok" cook, i don't even know, i'm really discouraged. are my essays really that bad, yes i think they are. but how could mr. clark give me all those "a"s! it was supposed to be an honors class to prep me for this class but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i got a bunch of a's and got over confident. i'm gonna have to knuckle down or something i just don't know what to do. i feel like if i back out i will be letting myself down, just like i always do. why can't i get a back bone! jeeze!!!!!!!!111

a couple nights ago after a day of writing essays i had a horrible nightmare, like a worm growing out of my wall near my head. yeah i know, it doesn't sound scary, i used to play with worms as a kid. so why did i wake up the whole house screaming and run to my bathroom to be in the light? i am not sure, i only know that i very rarely have nightmares, i haven't had something like that since i was very little. i was more scared then i have been in a long time. and at what?! worms. i looked it up in my dream dictonary and there was nothing about worms, it said snakes were for stress or something i don't know maybe it's the same. i just know that i never wanna have a dream like that again.