Crazy Days

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was a good day I guess. It was nice to see everyone but I was sick and didn't feel well. It was the first Holiday that my parents have been divorced and it was MUCH harder for me than I thought it was going to be! We had to be seperate things for each parent and it is just really hard to adjust too. I love both of my parents a lot but I always feel like there is this tug o war between the and me. It is the worest for me because I am not around a lot because I am at school and I just feel like I can never do or see them enough. I am excited about christmas in some was but not many. I dread coming home and having to work 2 jobs and play a juggling act between family members, what few friends I have, and work. I don't want to go back and forth but I can't just pick one parent to stay with all the time becauase I miss the other too much. It is just really hard because I know that after this summer I'm most likely not going to live at home again and I just wish that they were together so that we could just have faimly time together and this would be a problem. I hate it when my mom says things about my dad. I know that she hates him right now but I don't and I don't want to hear it. They tell me that they don't care what I do, who I stay with but I know if I choose one then the other would be hurt because they are only human. I really don't know what I want to do because they both drize me crazy and I don't think I could live with either full time but I don't want to go back and fourth either. Everytime I make a decisio I don't feel good aout it. I know I have to let them both live their own lives but I feel that they are both so sad and that I am going to really hurt someone. I AM SO SICK OF THIS!!! This is not somehting that I want to be worrying about my first year of college!!!!!!