#268425 added December 4, 2003 at 11:57am Restrictions: None
This and This and This...
There is always 10000 things to do. Between school and making appt for different things and call different people and make my new schedule I feel like I am never really getting anything done. I feel pulled in so any different directions at all times. I have been keeping more to myself lately because I just think it is easier. I hate realying on people because they always seem to let you down and make things so much harder. I want to do so much with my time but I feel like I never do anything. I want to come home and see everybody but I want to stay here and stay away from all the memories. I have even noticed that when I talk to Thomas I just don't tell him things. The little things that occur daily that I would want to tell him and I just find myself think whats the point. I don't want to do this especially to him because he is so much apart of me and he has made me look at myself from many different ways. He gives me select advise when I really "need" it but he doesn't try to sway my decisions. I can talk to him the most freely out of anyone I know and I love him on so many different levels but I am so to myself. Of course he notices this and worries but he knows I will "snap out of it" in my own time. Why do I shut people out? I know these are bad habbits to get into but over the last few years I have gone through much more hurt and sadness than most people my own age. I feel like I have lost almost everything that I once knew and I am back at squae one in a big mess. Who knows I guess I'm just stressed and crazy, after all it is almost finals.
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