My Life...

I feel so alone.

I feel so alone. It's all very well and good to tell myself that things will work out like they do in books and movies, but real life isn't like that.

My mother asks me what's wrong and I can't tell her. How can I tell people that sometimes I feel so alone that I get depressed?

I always try to deny it, but I've felt so down for the last year that I don't know what it's like to be cheerful and happy. I don't like to express my feelings and I feel like I can't talk to anybody. That I don't WANT to talk to anybody.

Whenever I think about school and how I don't have any friends, I tell myself that if I try harder, then I'll make friends, but I know I won't. I can't make friends, I can't.

I can't tell Mum about all this because she gets upset when there's nothing she can do about it because it's MY fault.

Sometimes I think that if I could just make 2 new friends, I'd be okay. I'd feel worthwhile instead of feeling second best when I'm with Kristen. I'm sick of feeling ugly and helpless and that I need a stronger person to lean on.

Sometimes I think that if I had NO friends at all, that things would be easier because I'd be motivated to go out and make some, but it's like I'm going around in circles and I want to stop but I can't.

I want to be accepted into my group and I try, Kristen's always there and I don't feel like I belong anywhere.

Maybe I'm not meant to belong anywhere, but live on my own and do things alone, but I want to be needed and I want people to come to me for advice.

I want to get out of this town and out there in another part of the country, but I can't. The HSC is tying me here as well as everything else and I don't know what to do.

I feel like I'm sinking...

What do I do?

Current Mood: depressed



~~Piper: I'm getting stalked by psycho killers and I hide in the shower!
Piper/Leo Harry/Ginny Ron/Hermione Dawson/Jen Pacey/Audrey Steph/Max Jack/Nina
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