Journal

passport to new reality needed

am i the bitch i have been called? am i self obsorbed, and thick? i'm so tired of everything. not sucicdal but just worn out. i failed my linsence test day, it was snowing pretty hard and while parrell parking i hit a cown. i have never, even in practice been that bad. i just choked. and today doug was bitching to everyone that i wasn't doing my job. god, i'm so freaking tired of all this crap. i just want to be able to drive and be around people who i feel like i can trust, like meg, and dennielle, and blanca. i'm tired of the politics surrounding kellie, me, monica, aaron, colin, katie, courtney, just everyone. i want to just leave this reality for a week and come back refreshed. am i a bitch? is there something wrong with me that i just don't see? why does everyone call me weird all the time? ugh. i'm completely drained. emotionally and physically, my head is spinning and my feet hurt, and ever since the stupid test i have been near tears all day. i hate pms. i seriously should probably be on anti depressents. it's so freaking horrible. i need to think about that. am i a horrible person? completely self obsorbed. do i give off a negitive vibe?