Shadows of the Fallen

Chapter 5: a past

“This sanctuary was made many a years ago. The structure seems endless, cascading like mirrors in each piece. All of this was hand carved in one very second. In that single second no one breathed. The slightest whisper was said to destroy it quicker than it was created,” she continued, “I myself was in awe at the stupendous magnification. I was also instructed to find adornments for the newly wisp sanctuary. I brought all of these golden crimson candles, the cross you see here, and the other various decorations. The candles all have a meaning. The back ones have a stripe across the bottom representing courage. The middle ones stand for the hope most everyone can lack. Then there is the front ones, the runts of the consignment. Only those mean faith for they have such little to work with and seem to make the most out of their situation.”
I could find little of what this meant to anything of my problem and what it meant found nothing to capture my interest. “If you continue to speak of nonsensical subjects I will aboard this conversation, not only in words, but also in figure. You are lacking the one thing I have come to seek and that is why am I here, what importance do I lie to you?”
Her face turned petrified, almost as if she had frozen that very second. Her eyes turned cold and I could tell she had been thinking of something besides me at the present time. Utter terror was striking her nerves in jolts of nervousness. She turned her back to me, placing her hands on the altar. I could see her mutter something beneath her solemn breath.

A lonely tear fell, striking a candles blaze to ash.

“It was obscure. Before chaos there was light. Only light, there was no hint of darkness. Nor was this moment ever in the past, nor can it ever be, outside time. It simply is. Life always seems to flow toward darkness. No being is being, yet by being we are, eternal forever in the light. No thing is ever anything.
“What we were hoping for has no existence. The moon was waning off its balance and our eyes were filled with the terror of a thousand merciless sins. Yet, in the shadow we saw something deeper. Given that light can only be, that as such cannot be, that in time lights are. A vanished moon cannot be seen, but only seen it is by such a miracle. A miracle is what we longed for, but not even our Lord could protect us. Not even a whisper had a thought in the matter at hand.
“Answers I can give, but I can only give what I know. What I know is not mine to tell, but in a sense I can tell you only what I can. Give then all do attention to the shadow as light reflects off the surfaces in vain.”

I feared her gaze as she peered over at me. Strangely entranced by her words, so honestly must I say they made sense. She kneeled in front of me, placing a rather large, distinct orb in-between us. I was reluctant to see it perched in mid air. How I longed to try and believe it was real, to swipe my hand beneath the object in amazement.

“I vaguely see what any of this has to do with my being hear, much less this toy you brought between us. If you can’t tell me what you know, then by all means tell me what you can speak,” I said, bowing my head in annoyance. “I wish not to hear what you have already given me, but only to heed something of a true relevance that will abet me.”
“Peer into what was the past, in the time when all our troubles began. Instead of what I cannot say, there is no being that says I cannot show what I am disapproved of,” she spoke, closing her eyes in meditation. “Inside my eye lies a world of what once was. In this world lied two obsolete worlds that no one paid much mind to. I belong to one of these worlds. We struggled to bring forth our very existence to the rest, but not to gain fame, to gain respect. Meanwhile, our counterpart only wished for praising and power. Our job was to prevent them from gaining this. In so doing not only did was gain our people’s trust, but we angered our counterparts into reeking havoc on the third world.
“A catastrophe had begun and it was our duty to find a way to abolish it from spreading. The Cherubim and Seraphim united as one group, but we needed our mêlée leader to step forth. He was the most respected amongst any of us from his hard labor and conscientious binding of our minds. He was the highest of us all and seen fit to lead us.
“Yet, all was not well. Once the battle started it took longer than expected to win. Counterparts had appointed their own leader, Malik. He was feared through is world as one of the fiercest warriors to come by. Our leader, instead, was brave enough to stand strong and rose up against Malik in honor.
“We had become weary against the others. We ourselves were bleeding and pushed to our limits. A great storm had rose against us that night, and our own bodies had drenched the streets in pain. Wings were broken and limbs were shatters. Lightening and thunder clashed as our very feet. Yet, our leader pushed on and had no intentions of giving up and he pleaded for us to follow him. We were becoming terrified, we even cried as so much to give up. A struggle we could not bare was our worst fear. I, no we, had no intention of abandoning, but by the looks of things, we were losing.
“As He pushed on, we watched in amazement at his perseverance. The gleam in his eyes were that of an honorable match, but if only Malik could have noticed the truth in our fight. We fought to protect others while he fought to destroy them. It was ours to watch over and they wanted that for their own ignorance.
“You could think for a mere moment that our force was not holding, and you’d be right, but only by being right would you be more wrong. We had everything to win and everything to lose, but by so, we had everything to gain as well.”
I shook my head in confusion once again. My head was spinning with so many words and phrases, so many terms that I had become a puppet of this woman. Such a battle seems unreal. I have read about battles throughout history, but such as she had described was not found. “This all seems unreal. I must say I have not gained anything from this. All I understand is this Malik creature and in such, your so called leader does not seem as true as what you say.”
“Our leader you will come to understand. His desperate fights to not only protect the third world, but also to protect us became one strive beyond compare. The courage he showed the fateful day was something none of us were ready for. It sent chills up our spines just wondering how he did it all. In all earth’s theories of a hero, they had not one definition correct. There are not words to describe what we experienced.”

“How did the battle end,” I added. I had become aroused in the whole theory of the battle that I was leaning forward in my chair focusing on the orb, which had yet to show anything. “Surely the battle was won after all this struggle. If not by fear than by dominance.” I had my two senses worth added in, but the look on the woman’s face was that of anger of what I said. She shook her head from side to side as if in pity for me. I knew what I had said was right to me and what that is, is only my apprehension of my thoughts, my intellect of how I perceived her story. Perhaps if her detail was better explained I could give a better understanding of what I mean by dominance.
“Refracted through the mysteries of right, in the words we see careless set forth again. Each incandescent in the wash of light, lingering across the golden meadow. Light creates a fateful world of shadow, in every thought and words a silent shadow. It’s nothingness, until again. Right swallows up all faith and doubt. Light days the god-sent fire casting it’s blatant cascade, long and dark across the door of night. Letting in the cold, the Being without a flicker. This all love and linger he does in vain. No faith, but dies that we may live again. By day each soul must walk with his shadow, only by night can make us whole again. Nor joy nor pain can walk across the golden meadow. In each new day hope rises within that meadow. All time unveiled gathers there.
“ He did not win. As much as we prayed he would, the loss of our beloved leader took its toll on us. It was unaware that he vanished. In his struggle, it came as such a shock to see it with our own eyes. Even hearing the clashes and clangs of the iridescent swords was a revelation beyond that of it’s own providence.
“In the final effort with Malik,” she stated with another tear drowning into the floor, “we began to pray then more than ever. Our hearts were racing, throbbing in utter panic. How we wished to aid him, but our help he refused, mostly to protect us and safeguard us from his own kismet. I now know that he knew the ending of this sheer telling. Yet, I yearn to understand why the conclusion ended as it did. I can still clearly remember the smirk upon Malik’s face.”
Her hands wrapped caressingly around the orb, forcing it literally to form into a murky violet or storms. “Perhaps you would better understand what I have willingly explained, if you had images to let you see exactly what happened through my eyes.”
I crept forward in, peering into the fog as it were. I saw so many people gathered around with spears and swords, with a grimace on their face. I focused more thoroughly on the man with the glistening emerald wings. His robes were of great garments; more valuable than anything my eyes had laid eyes on. He raised his sword forward, holding it vertically towards his opponent, whom I could only make out to be none other than Malik. A black mask covered his face with a bloodstained scar on it, nothing like I had ever seen, appearing much like lead. As I turn my attention back towards the other man, so far only known as leader, I longed to see his face. The orb began to rotate slightly and his visage became visible. In my amazement I fell backwards, stunned. How could it be so? If anything was impossible, it had to have been only what I saw. I was gazing at a mere likeness of myself.
“Is this some kind of trick? I must say, if you find this humorous I will be more than pleased to bid you farewell. I find nothing funny about this, take my image off of this picture!” I was angry, and yet slightly disturbed. I was hoping I was imagining things.
She looked up at me with tears running down her flushed cheeks, tears of sapphire pearls. “I assure you, my idea of humor has long been lost. You asked me why you were here, did you not?”
“I did indeed ask,” I pleaded, backing up a ways to retreat from her presence, “but for someone who said they could not speak of what they were not permitted, you have a way of lying that I do not approve of. You words are confusing and now you wish to make a mockery of me!”
“I do not wish to make a mockery of you, only to show you who you once were, who you are, and who you are to become once again. This is not some sort of joke to terrify you into thinking all of this is unreal, for this is as real as it gets. My world is Heaven; our counterpart is Hell. The third world I had mentioned was none other than Earth. I did not comprehend it would be this hard to understand any of this. Please, Amethyst, don’t fret from me.”
I could not believe anything. When I had so willingly led myself to believe in the battle, I had now received a pale insight on my face. I rubbed my eyes, hoping I had really been asleep all this time. “I am unsure! None of this is happening. I refuse to believe it so. I refuse to believe in you or anything else I have seen!”
I scrambled to the door and gripped the knob. I tried as hard as I could to pull it open, but for some reason it refused to do my bidding. I turned to peer at the so-called angel behind me and the look on her face was that of anger.