Personal Journal

Two Entries in a Week! Somebody Stop Me!

I went and played warhammer tonight. I took Jean along, and it was cool to have her with me, nice to do something in her company that heretofore was something in my life that I’ve always done alone. She seemed entertained by the whole thing, though I know it’s not her thing. I think she was more pleased to be out of the house and see me having a good time.
I did have a good time, but not that good. There’s something about the experience of playing that game that is in some way anticlimactic. I think perhaps the game is just not complex enough for me. It’s really just so simple that I wonder if it’s going to hook me, and that doubt upsets me more, because I spent a lot of money buying miniatures for this hobby that when I bought them, I hadn’t even played much.
Maybe it will take more time for me to fall for. I do enjoy painting. But playing the game just doesn’t provide me with that certain something that other games have. I don’t think it’s the people I’ve played with, either; they’ve been up to the standard, and perhaps better than the average I’ve found. It feels something like throwing a ball at a wall, more exercise than excitement.
I’ll just have to see from here, I guess. I will put my nose to the painting table and try to get some things done.
Back to Jean, she did pretty well. I was afraid she’d be bored, but the game held her interest well enough. I think she got past some of her anxiety about going out. That’s an important step for her, particularly in an alien environment.
I’m sitting here thinking about how it feels good to write in my journal again. But then I remembered why I haven’t much since January (well, since October when I went to Maryland, but that was because of work). This week I’ve had some worries about Jean. Her speech hasn’t been as good as it was a few weeks ago, and she’s had a lot of head rushes.
I’m hopeful that it’s from her Decodron taper, she’s getting off her steroid for swelling, and it has a host of side effects associated with it. But I’m also worried that it means the treatment results weren’t as successful as we need them to be. I don’t want to worry myself. One day at a time.
We have the next MRI in June… it’s all in god’s hands now anyway.


It is never too late to be what you might have been. -- George Eliot
Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success. -- Alonzo Newton Benn