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Given a chance to ask (insert deity of choice) one question it would be... |
I'm beginning to think more and more, that maybe we're not meant to take our own lives so damn seriously. Maybe I should take a more laid-back approach to it all. Like today, playing quasi-hooky from work because I'm just sick of all the bullshit. It feels remarkably good. I probably should be worried about the things that aren't getting done in my partial absence, but it's hard for me to work up anything other than a "So?" kind of attitude. Am I hurting anyone? No - not even the company. I'm going to make their money for them. I show up on time. I get the work done, but I'm really sick of worrying about it all the time and driving myself into the ground for a company and a management team who couldn't give less of a shit. My credit - big damn deal. I'll never own a house here as long as they are priced over a mill in the shanty-town portion of this burg. And if I do win the lottery or my first novel is on the best seller list longer than the Harry Potter series, then I'm really not going to give a shit 'cause who needs to qualify for a loan if you're rich? I'm not casting it all to the wind. People will get paid eventually, just a hair slower is all. I don't think the world, and all the people inhabiting it, is a lost cause. I haven't reached that point. Not yet. Sometimes I feel that I'm coming close though and I don't like that. A person becomes de-sensitized to true suffering when they reach that point. Am I doing anything worthwhile? Am I contributing to try and make the world-at-large a better place? Am I entertaining or teaching or helping in any way? That's what I should be doing. There might be some appreciative people out there somewhere. I just don't know many. |