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| About This Newsletter Is it possible for a couple to still be happy and inlove after being together for so many years? How can we write so our characters are not growing old of love, but growing old inlove? Letter From The Editor Initially when I came to this topic, I thought I would be filled with different thoughts and ideas. But then when it came time to write, my mind seemed blank. So I decided to ask some questions to Charmin  and Vivian  . Here are some similar, yet very different thoughts on growing old with love.  How long have you been married, or involved in your current relationship? Charmin : I have been married for 18 years now, but have been with my partner for 22 years all total. We did things kind of backward. We lived together, had children, then got married. Vivian : I've been married over forty-two years, and, yes, to the same man. We said our vows on February 18, 1962, and we've kept them, all of them, to the best of human ability. *thinks a minute* Uh, well, except for that obey stuff. In your opinion, what some components that help your relationship or marriage stay strong? Charmin : We do a lot of talking. Whether it's about good things or bad. We always share it. Vivian : We not only love each other, and work at keeping that love alive and well, we are friends. We talk about anything and everything. *thinks a minute* Uh, well, except when I want to talk about something he doesn't want to hear. We keep our sense of humor intact as well as possible under difficult circumstances. We work together and play together. We help each other and care for each other. If this is not a first marriage, what makes this one better? Charmin : My first marriage, his second. I can't really answer this one, except for he did tell me that his first marriage didn't work because they were too young yet. Vivian : First and only marriage, hopefully forever. How do you and your spouse compliment each other in your lives? Charmin : We always know what the other one has been doing, working on, or trying to achieve. We like to show off our accomplishments to each other, and it just kind of naturally happens. We just always feel proud of each other on what we are doing at the time. Vivian : Robert is a go, go, go person who likes to make and fix things (very handy to have around). I'm more of the "take care of details" person. I get to pay bills and remember where we're supposed to be when. What would you change, if you could? Charmin : I don't think there is too much I would want to change. Why fix it, if it isn't broke? The only thing that could possibly make a significant difference is more time together. Vivian : I would change our physical conditions. I would take away Parkenson's disease, rhumatoid arthritis, lupus, diabetes, high blood pressure, viral infections that attack a heart. I guess what I'm saying is I would make our lives more physically long-lasting and comfortable. I would still marry Robert and travel the road of life with him, even if I knew all the troubles and heartaches we would face. I really want to live through all of them again, but I would with him. Do you have any writing examples concerning this topic, growing old with love? Vivian : The following items include getting older, and love, if not the main component, is included. Some are poems; some are stories, but all contain my philosophy of life. Hey, if we don't continue to grow older, what is the alternative? And I'm not ready for death yet.
How can the ingredients for a long lasting marriage be incorporated into writing? Charmin : I guess by maybe explaining the do's and don't's, and just be honest with feelings and emotions. Even if it's something not pleasant. If you're upfront and honest, most of the time something can be worked out. Vivian : First of all, the ingredients are found in believable characters. If the character isn't loving, then no matter how well the author portrays a long-lasting marriage, it will fall flat in the telling. Also, some marriages that last a long time are based on greed, manipulation, abuse, and other components. Therefore the author has to decide what type of long-lasting marriage does she want to portray. The key to any good writing is good writing. Writing a story that includes any marriage that is loving and strong requires not only making the characters believable (including faults), but to also have motivation for actions and happenings, to show how a loving couple interacts with each other and with others, to show how they work and support each other through the bad times and the good. Do you have anything to add about what leads to a long, successful marriage or how to write about one? Charmin : Always keep communication open. If there is a difference of opinion, take time to think before speaking. Words can hurt and can't be taken back. Never go to bed angry, it makes for a miserable morning, and who knows for sure if you will one day not wake up. Never leave the house without saying,"I Love You" to each other. It may be your last words. Share the responsibilities and decisions. Vivian : To paraphrase a saying I've heard all my life, one should live each day as if his last but plan as if he will live forever. The same is true when applied to marriage, leading to a successful union that lasts a long time. That concept put into words of a story, novel, or poem helps one have a successful writing.Editor Picks
Asks and Answers Feedback and Questions Incurable Romantic : Lexi, This was EXCELLENT. YOUR statement about a solid marriage needing communication, respect, unconditional love, faithfulness, and honesty is right on target. I would add one thing to that list: trust. I also feel there is a great deal of truth in your closing statement about perfect characters ruining the story. That is DEFINITELY true. And I couldn't have said it better, or more directly than your words. Another wonderful issue. And I'm looking forward to your next one on growing old with love. I'm sure it will tug at my heart, because that's what Linda and I had planned on doing since we met in high school, and had still planned on doing when I lost her in 1980. Keep up the great work. Jim - aka Incurable RomanticJim, thank you for the wonderful feedback! You are absolutely right, trust is an important component in marriage. Without having it most marriages fail. Thank you again, Lexi Laart1-Season of the Heart : A great newsletter as always and the picks made me want to write my own romantic story. All good choices. Thanks for all the effort. Lin billwilcox: Wow, what a well put together newsletter. schipperke: Lexi, Excellent newsletter. It was inspiring to read about love from our members who have so many years of experience. Thanks. Vivian : Ah, going to cover my level next month, huh, Lexi? Growing old with love. *looks over to the sofa* Yep, I still have him. GG very happy : Great interview Lexi. It is really helpful, not only for writing romance, but for real life. Especially for a singleton like me. Thanks also to everyone who was so generous with their advice.As always, your comments are certainly appreciated. Thank you, Lexi In My Next IssueLove, Loss, and Starting Over Until Next Time, Lexi   |
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