Fearful Passion

Chapter Two

Caroline woke up the next morning feeling rested. She hadn’t had to worry about keeping an eye open or heaving to and fro. However, her dreams had been full of Joshua. She had tossed and turned trying to get away from him and in others she had given in. The only thing about her dreams were she didn’t feel regret afterwards. She didn’t know if her dreams were a sign or just her wishful thinking. Either way, she had woken up in a sweat. She got out of bed and peeled her wet nightgown off over her head and then went to her washroom to clean up. When she finished she put her pale yellow dress on with the tiny red flowers around the neck. The neckline wasn’t too low, but it was a long way from high. She pulled her stockings on and walked to the door to head downstairs.

“Mistress Caroline,” a short, tubby servant girl called. “Brunch and tea will be ready shortly. Your aunt is in the parlor.”

“Brunch? What time is it?” Caroline asked.

“It’s nearing noon. Mrs. Pamela thought it best you sleep as much as possible this morning so you could catch up on your rest. She did invite Mrs. Williams and Mistress Anne to brunch though. They should arrive soon.”

“Thank you,” Caroline replied.

Caroline walked to the parlor to see her aunt. Caroline pushed open the door and walked in. Her aunt was sitting on the couch knitting. She looked up when Caroline came in.

“Good morning, dear. I figured you needed the rest. I really shouldn’t have pushed you to go last night and I’m sorry,” Pamela said.

“It’s alright, Aunt Pamela. It was nice. Thank you for letting me sleep. The voyage here was nerve wracking. You’d think those sailors had never seen a woman before,” Caroline griped.

“Did they treat you indecently, child? I’ll report every last one,” Pamela said sitting up straight.

“No, they were fine,” Caroline smiled thinking of the man they had thrown overboard.

In truth, she had enjoyed the trip. The ocean water was so peaceful and the men were very charming unless they had too much ale in them. She tried to help around the ship but they wouldn’t allow it. They said it was no business for a woman. She had scowled at their chivalrous attitude, but had realized she probably couldn’t have helped anyway.

The serving girl knocked on the door and announced that Mrs. Williams and Mistress Anne had arrived. Caroline and Pamela rose to greet them. They each gave them a hug and let them enter the room. After they had seated themselves, Pamela motioned to bring the tea. The serving girl closed the door behind her.

“Traci, dear, does Hugh have his eye on anyone particular these days? He’s such a handsome young man,” Pamela stated.

“No, no one as of now. I think he just likes flirting with them all,” Mrs. Williams laughed. “Boys will be boys. I did notice a few glances for Miss Caroline here from Mr. Hamilton last night. What do you think of him Caroline?”

“He’s very good looking, but I hardly know him. My Aunt has warned me about him though,” Caroline smiled as she saw the exasperated look on Pamela’s face.

“Warned you? Pamela, what nonsense have you been putting in this girl’s head?” Traci asked.

“Well,” Pamela said trying to cover herself, “he has a reputation as a lady’s man. I don’t want my niece getting mixed up with someone of that nature.”

“That nature? I don’t know where you get your gossip from, but Joshua is a very well standing young man. He’s always polite and if he has a love affair, no one knows of it unless the young lady tells, but any lady would not compromise her reputation and if anyone does tell you have to question their motives,” Traci said.

“Well, Aunt Pamela, he doesn’t seem so bad after all. Maybe I won’t shun him on the street if I should see him,” Caroline said sarcastically.

“Caroline, you do exaggerate my words. Why don’t you and Anne go out to the veranda and speak? I’m sure you don’t like all this gossip,” Pamela said.

“No, it doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve got to learn about people before I can make the choice to associate myself with them,” Caroline smiled.

If looks could kill, Caroline would be burning on a stake right then. She finally had figured her aunt out. She was going to try to set her up with Hugh and anyone that showed any interest other than him, she would cut them down in Caroline’s mind. Now that she understood her motives, she could avoid being misled. She had to give it to Pamela though she was sly.

“How old is Mr. Hamilton, Mrs. Traci?” Caroline asked.

“Oh, he’s probably close to thirty. As a matter of fact, I believe he’s exactly thirty this year. By the way, how old are you if you don’t mind my asking?” Traci asked.

“I’ll be 22 in a month. August 23,” Caroline replied.

“Oh we’ll definitely have to throw you a party then. You’ll be able to meet a few people beforehand and then we can have the party. Anne’s is August 24 so we can have a double if it’s all right with Anne,” Traci said.

“Oh yes. That would be wonderful,” Anne replied.

“I don’t want to be any trouble though,” Caroline argued.
“It’s no trouble at all. We love to entertain,” Traci said.

“If you’d like to, I won’t argue then,” Caroline gave in.

“Well, it’s settled then,” Traci said.

“Caroline, why don’t we go for a walk outside? The sun is out and there is this little shop down the street,” Anne offered.

“All right,” Caroline smiled.

They excused themselves and grabbed their parasols in case the rain started again. Then, they headed out of the door and into the street. They walked down the sidewalk looking into the little stores.

“So Caroline, how are you enjoying England so far?” Anne asked.

“I haven’t had much chance to sightsee since I’ve been here, but I hope to,” Caroline replied.

“Well, we’ll have to see what we can do about that.”

Both girls stopped and turned around. Joshua was standing there smiling at them both.

“Mr. Hamilton,” Anne said.

“Good afternoon Anne, Caroline. I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. Have you really no plans yet as to sightsee?” Joshua asked.

“Not as of yet. Was that an invitation to play tour guide?” Caroline asked.

“If you would accept it knowing my bad reputation and all.”

“I’m very sorry for that. It seems my Aunt got her gossip messed up. She’s only looking out for my reputation. Can’t have people thinking the wrong things about me and I’ve not been here a day. Do you think you’d ruin my reputation?” Caroline asked.

“I would be the utmost gentleman in your company, unless you make the first move,” Joshua replied grinning. Maybe I ought to be asking if you’d ruin my reputation.”

“I don’t think you’d have to worry about that. I try to be on my best behavior,” Caroline said.

“You try? Is that a challenge?” Joshua asked.

“I believe we need to head back Caroline. It looks like it might rain any minute,” Anne said.

“I’m sorry Anne. Of course. Mr. Hamilton we really must be leaving,” Caroline said.

“Please let me give you both a ride home. Will your mother still be at Mrs. Pamela’s house, Anne?” Joshua asked.

“No, she probably has gone home by now. It’s on the way back. I can walk,” Anne replied.

“Nonsense. I’ll drive you both. My carriage is right across the street. Follow me,” Joshua said.

They followed him to his carriage and he helped them climb up before heading to the William’s house. He got down and helped Anne out and walked her to her door as Caroline waited. When he climbed back in he made sure to sit as close as possible to her. The carriage went on through the street to Pamela’s house. He must’ve hit every pothole on the way there causing Caroline to hang on to him for dear life. When they arrived, he got down and helped her down.

“Thank you for the ride, Joshua,” Caroline said.

“Accept my invitation for tomorrow and we’ll call it even,” Joshua grinned.

“All right. I’ll accept,” Caroline said.

“Wonderful. I’ll pick you up at nine tomorrow morning. Is that good for you?” Joshua asked.

“That’s fine. I better get in before the rain starts.”

“May I bother you for a kiss for all the trouble I went to today?” Joshua asked.

“I thought my acceptance for tomorrow made us even?” Caroline asked.

“Well, you didn’t seem to mind my kissing the other night.”

“I was tired and my defenses were down. It won’t happen again, I can assure you,” Caroline said. “Good evening.”

Caroline released herself from his embrace and walked up the path to the door. Without turning she opened the door and went in. Joshua stared after her. He’d wait, but every woman gave in eventually. This one would tomorrow. He’d see to it.

****
It was all Caroline could do not to collapse when she got inside the door. She had wanted him to kiss her so bad, but then again she hadn’t wanted him to. He confused every part of her. Her mind was saying no, but her body was screaming for him. It remembered his touch and craved more. As she stood with her back against the door with her eyes closed her aunt walked in.
“Caroline, was that Joshua Hamilton that dropped you off? Where’s Anne?”

“Yes, Aunt Pamela, Joshua did drop me and Anne off. He took Anne home first because we thought her mother would be back there by now,” Caroline replied.

“Yes, she left an hour or two ago. You still shouldn’t have been alone with him. Even for that short a distance,” Pamela griped.

“I’m sorry, but Joshua has invited me to take a tour with him tomorrow. We won’t be alone; there will be plenty of people around.”

“Caroline, you can’t go out with him. I still don’t trust him. Traci Williams always looks for the good in everyone. You can’t have possibly told him yes,” Pamela complained.

“I did and it’s done. Aunt Pamela you mustn’t worry about me so much. I’m a big girl and can take care of myself. Please stop worrying or you’ll have an ulcer,” Caroline said.

“I can’t help it. You’re just as carefree as your mother was,” Pamela said.

“My mother was a very sensible woman and I don’t appreciate you talking about her like this. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to the library and see if I can find anything interesting in your collection to pass my time until dinner.

“Please don’t. I’m only looking out for you the way your mother would have, but I forget you’re not the little girl I once knew. You’re a grown woman and make your own decisions and I don’t want us to be fighting the whole time you’re here,” Pamela said.

“I’m sorry. It’s just when I first got here you treated me like I was still sixteen. I’m sorry if I treated you cruelly,” Caroline apologized.

A tear came down Pamela’s face and she quickly wiped it away. Caroline smiled at her.

“Please don’t cry. You’ll have me crying as well,” Caroline said.

“I’m sorry. You just remind me so much of your mother and I miss her terribly. I guess I just tried to make you fill her shoes when it came to someone I needed to fuss over. However, you do fill her shoes in that she never listened to me either. If she had, she’d never have married your father and I wouldn’t have you here with me now. She loved your father dearly and it hurt me to think he was going to take her away from here. She was all I had,” Pamela said.

“Don’t worry, Aunt Pamela. Mother loved you dearly. She told me so. She said she was always sending you letters or presents and every chance she got before I was born she came to visit you. She hated it when she got sick because she couldn’t come see you. Then, when she passed away, I thought of taking up writing you, but I had only met you the one time at mother’s funeral. Mother had always read me your letters, so I thought I knew you, but when you came to the funeral, I was so scared to speak to you. You had her all while you both were growing up and I had only had her for a few years in my opinion. I was furious at you and loved you all at the same time. Then, when I grew a little more, I realized I shouldn’t be furious with someone that my mother had loved so much. That’s when I began to write to you. I was hoping to bridge the gap I had caused when mother died,” Caroline said.

“I’m very glad you did too or I would never have known how wonderful you had grown up to be. Your mother would be very proud at how you’ve turned out. Your father did a wonderful job. Have you written to him since you’ve arrived?” Pamela asked. “I’m sure he’s worried about you.”

“I sent him one from the dock when we arrived to let him know I had arrived safely, but I’ll write him again now. I miss him, but it’s nice having a woman around,” Caroline smiled.

“It’s nice having some youthfulness around this old house too,” Pamela said. “I’ll have the maid call for you when dinner is ready.”

Pamela went upstairs to her room and Caroline walked on into the study. She sat at the desk, pulled out some paper and began to write to her father to tell him of her trip so far and how much she missed him. Afterwards, she sat down to a quiet dinner with Pamela and then went upstairs to bed.