Fearful Passion

Chapter Three

The next morning Caroline left her room and walked down the stairwell to meet her aunt for breakfast before Joshua came to pick her up. Pamela was coming out of the parlor as Caroline reached the bottom. They walked to the dining room and sat at the table as the maid brought the trays out. They ate in contented silence. They had healed their wounds and would now forget them. There was no use dwelling on the past any longer. After a short while, they began sharing their memories of Caroline’s mother until the butler came in to announce the arrival of Joshua. Caroline smiled and got up and hugged her aunt before walking out of the dining room. She grabbed her bonnet from the side table where she had laid it before going in. Joshua was waiting in the hallway by the door. His face lit up when he saw her.

“Here, let me help you with that,” Joshua said reaching for her bonnet.

He adjusted it on her head and then tied a little bow under her chin all the while trying not to gaze down into the low neckline of her dress. Caroline smiled and put her arm in his crooked arm and followed him out to the carriage. The sun was shining for a change and there were no rain clouds in the sky. She climbed in with his help and adjusted her skirts as he climbed in behind her. He had a driver today so he could be free to talk and point out things to her. The driver started the carriage and they pulled out of the driveway into the street. Not everyone was busy in the streets yet, but there were a few bustling about.

“What did your aunt say when she heard you accepted my invitation?” Joshua asked.

“She was fine with it. Why? Were you worried she’d sway me against you?” Caroline asked.

“Of course not. She just doesn’t seem to like me very much,” Joshua replied.

“She’s just leery of you. You’re very forward and she’s afraid you’ll steal my heart away and we’ll run off together and she’d have my father to answer to,” Caroline laughed.

“Well, I might not be able to steal your heart away, but I’ll definitely try,” Joshua said.

Caroline blushed and looked away from him, “You are very forward. What makes you so sure I’d let you?”

“I said I’d try to, but I’m a very persuasive man. You might better keep your guard up. Besides, you would never have accepted my invitation if you didn’t like me in the slightest. That gives me hope,” Joshua said.

“Well, I’ll have to remember not to accept any more of your invitations. I wouldn’t want to be leading you on,” Caroline said.

“I’ll let you make that decision at the end of our day. But for now, I intend to give you a wonderful day,” Joshua said.

They rode through the city and Joshua pointed everything out to her and she got postcards from little shops to send to her dad and to her friends in America. Joshua bought her a bottle of perfume that they both said smelled wonderful.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I had my cook prepare us a picnic to eat in the garden at my home,” Joshua said when lunchtime rolled around.

“That sounds lovely. I’d like to see your home,” Caroline smiled.

Her cheeks were flushed from the wind and she looked tired. Joshua gazed at her noticing the haziness to her eyes from weariness and the rosy cheeks and thought how beautiful she was. They arrived at the front of his home and the stop jostled him back. He hopped down and reached up to help her down. He put his hands around her waist and lifted her down. Instead of making her uncomfortable, he immediately let go of her and motioned for the front door. The outside was beautiful. It wasn’t as big as her aunt’s house, but it was still rather large. It was only one story and had lots of trees and flowers everywhere. When he opened the door to walk inside, he held it open for her and opened his arms to show her the house.

“Well, this is it,” Joshua said. “How do you like it?”

“It’s very nice. Mind if I look around?” Caroline asked.

“No, of course not. I’ll even be the guide. Follow me,” Joshua said.

They walked through the house and he showed her the dining room, the parlor, the kitchen, the guest room, and lastly, his bedroom. He opened the door to his room and walked in. He had a four posted bed with velvet blankets, a dark wood washstand and a dark wood chest.

“What do you think? Very bachelor isn’t it? I just don’t have a knack for decorating,” Joshua said.

“It’s very nice, but it could use some pictures or something. It’s very plain,” Caroline said.

“And you talk about me being forward,” Joshua smiled.

“Well, you asked how I liked it,” Caroline defended.

“I know. I was only teasing. Why don’t you come sit next to me? I won’t bite. I swear,” Joshua said.

“I’d rather not. Why don’t we go see if lunch is ready?” Caroline offered.

“All right,” Joshua agreed getting up from the bed.

He walked towards the doorway but grabbed Caroline’s arm as she started to walk through it as well. She stopped and turned, startled. He moved her to where her back was against the wall.

“What are you doing?” Caroline asked her eyes showing fear.

“I’m not going to hurt you, but I can’t forget that kiss we shared. I just want to know if it caused as many sparks with you as it did for me. Nothing more. I just want to kiss you again,” Joshua said.

Before Caroline could refuse, his lips were on hers. She closed her eyes and allowed her body to melt against him. He moved his lips in slow motion opening and closing around hers. His hot breath felt wonderful against her skin. His fingers moved up and down on her arm and the other hand massaged her neck under her scalp. She could think to do nothing else but put her hand against his chest. She felt the hard muscles underneath his shirt and sighed. He leaned in closer and testily slid his tongue across her bottom lip. She started and her eyes flew open. He was looking at her reaction with his own sparkling eyes. She calmed down and let him slide his tongue in and slowly massaged it with hers. When she opened her eyes again to look at him, she saw more than just a kiss in his eyes. There was pure desire and hunger flaming in them. She moved both her hands to push him away. She couldn’t let things get out of her control. Joshua stood back and looked down at her.

“What is it?” Joshua asked.

Caroline’s cheeks flared red and she ducked her head away from him. She wrapped her arms around her waist as for comfort and stared at the floor at her feet.

“Didn’t you like it?” Joshua asked.

Caroline looked up then and smiled, “Yes, it’s just...”

“I didn’t mean to force you into anything, but you drive me mad. You allowed that one kiss in the garden and have been playing coy games since. Every other time I tried to kiss you, you turned away or even ran away,” Joshua said.

“I’m sorry. Maybe you should stop trying to kiss me then. I’d better head home,” Caroline said.

“No, not until you tell me why you keep running from me,” Joshua said.

“You can’t hold me against my will. I’ll scream,” Caroline said the fury flaming in her eyes.

“I won’t hold you against your will, just tell me,” Joshua said, his eyes pleading.

“I was afraid of the feelings it offset in me. Is that what you wanted to hear? That I’m afraid of you? I’d like to go home now,” Caroline said.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me. I’d never make you do anything you didn’t want to,” Joshua said.
“I’d just like to go home now,” Caroline said.

Caroline walked out of the bedroom and out the front door. She climbed up into the carriage and told the driver to take her home. The driver looked to Joshua before leaving. Joshua leaned back against the wall folding his arms across his chest and nodded his head and the driver pulled off.

Caroline was all thrown out of sorts. She was furious at him for making her admit that to him and furious for him making her feel so childish. Yet, she couldn’t erase the kiss from her mind. It made her feel so wonderful and warm, but he was a very arrogant man who was accustomed to getting what he wanted. Maybe her aunt was right. Maybe she should stay away from him.

****

The weeks went by and it was time for Caroline and Anne’s birthday party. Pamela was helping out with the decorations and everything although Traci was organizing it. Caroline had met a few more people since she’d been in town and her and Anne had become fast friends. She hadn’t spoken to Joshua the entire time. When he came to see her, she had them turn him away. Anne said he had spoken to her once wanting to know what was going on, but she had just told him Caroline had said she didn’t want to be bothered. They had met on the street a few times, but Caroline always managed to elude him. She wished she didn’t have to, but she just didn’t want to talk to him.

Right now she was caught up in the bustle of excitement about the party. She had gone out with Anne and they had both bought a new dress for the occasion. Caroline’s was a little more daring though she had the bosoms for it. It was velvet red with a low cut neckline and straps that hung off the shoulders. The waist of it showed off her figure wonderfully and the skirt didn’t have as much taffeta underneath it so it didn’t poof and bother her when she sat down. Anne’s was white with a square neckline but the waist also showed off her figure nicely.

“You know mother invited Mr. Hamilton don’t you?” Anne asked.

“Well, I guess I’d have to talk to him sometime I suppose,” Caroline said.

Her heart had fluttered at the mention of him, but she didn’t know if she was ready to speak to him again. She guessed she’d have to tonight if he approached her. There was no use causing a scene. She would just have to think of what to say to him. Without thinking, she dropped a drop of the perfume he had bought her down between her breasts. Then, she sat down at the vanity and rubbed a drop behind each ear and on each wrist before putting make up on. Anne finished getting dressed and sat next to her.

“What happened between you two? You haven’t spoken to him in a month,” Anne asked.

“Please forgive me Anne but it’s only between the two of us. He didn’t accost me or anything or hurt me, physically anyway,” Caroline replied.
“I understand. He has been after you though. He certainly doesn’t know why you’re not speaking to him,” Anne remarked.

“He does, but he doesn’t know my reasoning. It’s just not meant for us to be together,” Caroline said.

“Why not? He’s crazy about you. Do you not return his feelings?” Anne asked.

“I do. Very much. That’s the problem, Anne. He stirs up all these emotions that make me want to melt against him, but I don’t know. There’s just so much passion there that it scares me. Do you understand?” Caroline asked.

“I only wish I did. I’ve never felt that before,” Anne replied.

“It’s just confusing, frightening, and wonderful all at the same time,” Caroline replied.

“Girls, people are beginning to arrive. Hurry along now,” Pamela called through Anne’s bedroom door.

Caroline stood up and straightened out her skirt. Her silky brown hair fell in tendrils all over her head. She fluffed them one last time before heading to the door.

“Ready?” Caroline asked.

“Let’s go,” Anne said standing up.

They walked out the door and down the hallway to the stairs. Anne peeked around the corner to see how many were there already. The room was filling quite fast.

“There are so many people down there,” Anne said.

“Well, let’s get down there before a lot more come,” Caroline said. “Just walk like you own the place, oh wait, you do.”

Anne laughed and her nervousness calmed some. She reached for Caroline’s hand and they walked down the stairs together. Halfway down, Caroline stopped and almost tumbled when Anne kept going. She had spotted Joshua in the crowd already and their eyes had locked. Caroline’s heart sped up immensely. Anne’s eyes followed hers and saw Joshua. She tugged Caroline causing them to break their stare.

“Don’t worry,” Anne whispered. “I’m right here with you.”

They walked on down into the crowd and greeted all the guests and accepted the congratulations on their birthdays. They walked over to where Traci and Pamela stood.

“Girls, you look magnificent,” Traci said.

“Thank you. This party is wonderful. You’ve really outdone yourself mother,” Anne said.
“It really is great,” Caroline said. “Thank you for including me in all this.”

“It’s our pleasure. It’s been so long since we’ve entertained and now we had two reasons to. Happy birthday Anne,” Traci said.

She handed her a box and Anne opened it. Inside was a small diamond necklace. Anne’s face lit up and she hugged her mother.

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Anne cried.

“Here, let’s put it on you,” Mr. Williams said coming up behind her.

She jumped around and hugged him. He took the necklace from her and put it on her. She quickly showed Caroline and then ran off to show her other friends.

“Your father was sorry he couldn’t be here on your birthday but he sent you something and asked me to give it to you tonight,” Pamela said.

Caroline took the small box and opened it with curiosity. A gold bracelet inlaid with garnets lay inside. Caroline gasped when she saw it. It was beautiful.

“I told your father the color of the dress you had found and he bought the garnets to match it,” Pamela said.

“He shouldn’t have done this,” Caroline said.

“He wanted to give you something very special on your birthday,” Pamela said. “And these are from me.”

Caroline took the other box and opened it, “The matching earrings. Thank you so much, Aunt Pamela.”

She dove at her and gave her big hug. Tears were coming from her eyes. She put the earrings in her ears and then Pamela helped her clasp her bracelet. Caroline hadn’t notice the music starting until Hugh came over and asked her to dance. Caroline smiled and agreed. She placed her hand in his as he led them to the dance floor. They danced to a moderately fast song. When it was over, she thanked him and started to walk off the dance floor. Instead, she ran into Joshua.

“Hello, love,” Joshua said.

“Hello, Joshua,” Caroline replied looking up into his face.

He took her hand and twirled back onto the dance floor. She grudgingly let him, though her heart defied her and beat rapidly. She glanced around the room instead of at him. Anything to take her mind off of it.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Joshua said. “Why?”

“You know why Joshua. You humiliated me,” Caroline said.
“You know I didn’t mean to do anything to hurt you. I care too much about you and you’ve been hiding from me. What can I do to make it better?” Joshua asked.

“There’s nothing you can do. I think it’s just best if we don’t see each other anymore,” Caroline said.

“You can’t mean that. I feel your heart about to beat out of your lovely chest and I know you liked that kiss as well as I. Just give me a chance,” Joshua said.

“I don’t want to,” Caroline pleaded.

Joshua stopped them and tilted her face up to look at his, “You do want to, but you’re scared to. You’re wearing the perfume I bought you. You do think of me even if you don’t want to admit it. You shouldn’t be afraid of love. You should let it move you.”

“I’m not afraid of love. Only of you,” Caroline said, tears filling her eyes.

He released her then and she walked away to the powder room to clean up her face before meeting the rest of the guests. Anne came into the room.

“Are you ok? I’m sorry I couldn’t intercede. I didn’t see him until you left. Do you want me to have father remove him?”

“No,” Caroline replied. “That would cause a scene and I don’t want to do that on your birthday.”

“But it’s your party too. You’re not supposed to be upset,” Anne said.

Caroline finished up and they walked back to the party. They looked around to see where Joshua was, but saw no sign.

“Maybe he left when he realized how upset you were,” Anne helped.

“I hope so,” Caroline replied.

Almost immediately, two gentlemen walked up and swept them out to the dance floor. They danced through the night until they were exhausted. There was no more sign of Joshua and Caroline was glad. Maybe he would leave her alone now. She didn’t know if that was a good thing or not, but it was for the best. The night was about over and Caroline walked out into the garden to get away from all the commotion. Her head was reeling with all the dancing.

She sat down on one of the benches and touched a flower that was beside her. She plucked one out and placed it in her hair. The wind was blowing a nice breeze and her hair was flowing behind her. She heard a twig snap behind her and quickly turned around. A small scraggily man was standing there smiling at her. He definitely wasn’t dressed for the party. He had on ripped pants and a filthy shirt. The thing that caught her eye was the cutlass and the pistol at his side.

“Hello, princess. The captain asked us to stop by and tell you he’d like to speak with you,” the man said.

“What captain? I’m not going anywhere,” Caroline said standing up and walking back to the house.

“He said you’d refuse. You’re a stubborn one,” the man said.

She backed up into something hard and cautiously looked up. A giant burly man stood there behind her with his arms crossed glaring down at her. She gasped and stepped away.

“Get her, Ron,” the small man said.

The big man, Ron, grabbed a blanket from behind his back. Caroline went to scream but the small man gagged her. Ron threw the blanket over her and she struggled to get away from it. She bit down and tasted something very bitter in her gag. Before long, she couldn’t move, much less struggle. She felt very tired and fought against the urge to close her eyes and sleep. Unfortunately, the drug was more powerful and soon she was asleep. Another man came out from behind the bushes and stood to the side.

“We have her, Captain,” Ron said picking her up and placing her over his shoulder.

“Good. Let’s get back to the ship before anyone notices she’s gone. Be careful with her though. She’s very precious,” the Captain said.

They walked back to the ship with Caroline thrown over his shoulder. No one was in the streets to see where they were going or what they had in the blanket. They walked through a forest to get to their ship. It was docked right at the shore. Men were walking around it just waiting. The captain waved as they emerged from the trees and the men were relieved it was him. Ron carried Caroline up the plank and onto the deck.

“Where do you want me to put her?” Ron asked.

“Put her down in my cabin. I’ll deal with her when she wakes up. That drug shouldn’t wear off for at least another two hours or so. Let’s set sail and get as far away from here as we possibly can before she wakes up. Let’s head back to the caves,” the captain said.

Ron walked to the door to head down below and ducked as he went through. The captain watched after them until they disappeared and then he set about getting his crew in motion.

A few hours later, Caroline awoke to a splitting headache. She still had a foul taste in her mouth from the drugs. She held her head and tried to sit up but just ended up laying back down. The door opened and a silhouette slipped in. He lit the lantern on the shelf beside the bed and kneeled down.

“Joshua,” Caroline said.

“You’re awake. How is your head?” Joshua asked.

“I think I’m dying. Where am I? What are you doing here?” Caroline asked.

“You’re not dying. Here drink this,” he said giving her some water.

Caroline took a sip of the water and placed it next to the bed.

“What is this horrible taste in my mouth?” she asked.

“It’s something that just let you sleep for a while,” he replied.

The door opened again to allow a head to poke in.

“Captain Joshua, we’re approaching the caves.”

“Thank you, David,” Joshua said.

The head disappeared and the door closed once more.

“Captain? What is going on here? What caves?” Caroline demanded.

“I am Captain Joshua of this vessel. You are now in the hands of my pirates,” Joshua said.

“Pirates? You can’t possibly be a pirate. You don’t look the part,” Caroline said. “Is this some joke to make me talk to you?”

“This is no joke. You are now my prisoner and you’ll do as I say. I tried to be nice and civil amongst society, but now you’re on my turf and I’m not as nice here as I was there,” Joshua said.

Caroline’s adrenaline kicked in and she stood up to face him. Worry creased her face, but she wouldn’t allow her voice to quiver.

“What do you want from me?” Caroline asked.

“You have to ask that? I thought I’d made it clear,” Joshua replied.

Fear traced her face and then was quickly dissolved.

“You’re scum and you’ll never take me to your bed,” Caroline retorted.

“Never say never, my love. I suggest you hang on to something,” Joshua said.

“What?” Caroline asked.

Before she knew what happened, the boat lurched forward as it struck the land. She was flung into Joshua’s arms and had to hold on in order not to fall. Joshua looked down at her and smiled. Then, he leaned down and kissed her hard on the lips. Caroline hit his chest over and over for him to let her go, but he didn’t listen and pulled her close until her arms were trapped between them. Finally, he let her go and stood her away from him. Then, he walked back out of the room and locked the door behind him so she couldn’t get out. She still ran to the door and tried it though. A few minutes later, the door knob started to shake and Ron came walking in.

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way. No more drugs. This time I’ll hit you to knock you out or you can come along peacefully. Which is it?” Ron asked.

Caroline’s eyes grew wide. If Ron hit her, she’d probably be unconscious for eternity.

“I’ll go peacefully,” Caroline replied, “this time.”

Ron walked towards her and picked her up and slung her over his shoulder.

“What are you doing you big oaf? I said I’d go peacefully,” Caroline screamed.

“I know and I didn’t hit you. This is to make sure you don’t run off,” Ron said.

Ron walked out with her over his shoulder and headed to the deck. Caroline lifted her head to look around. The pirates were unloading cargo off the ship and going off through a tunnel. Caroline didn’t know where they were. She heard them say they were headed for caves so she figured this was an island somewhere and all islands had inhabitants, so there was a chance she might be able to escape. She looked and saw Joshua talking to a sailor and pointing him down a tunnel. When he saw Ron, he walked over to them.

“Take her to my quarters,” he told Ron. Lifting Caroline’s head to look at him, “You might want to take a nap and get some rest. I won’t be in to bother you for a while.”

Ron laughed and headed down another tunnel.

“What are you laughing at?” Caroline asked him.

“The Captain is going to have his hands full with you. You’re stubborn and feisty,” Ron replied.

“The Captain isn’t going to lay a hand anywhere near me,” Caroline retorted.

“I wouldn’t say that now. When Captain Joshua wants something he usually gets it no matter how much he has to fight.”

“Well, he’s not getting me, that’s for certain,” Caroline said.

“Missy, I haven’t known you long, but from meeting in the garden and then again in the room, I know you don’t change your mind when you set to it. Although you might be dead set against him, you still better be careful around that one,” he said.

“We’ll just see,” Caroline said.
Ron came to a door on the side of the tunnel. When he opened it and sat Caroline down, she turned to look at the room. It was carved out of the rock. It was magnificent. There was a giant bed against the wall on the left side, a chest of drawers against the back wall, pillows were strewn all over the floor for seating and a giant rug was in the middle. There were candles lining the shelves all around the room. A makeshift shower was on the right side of the room with a small water basin next to it. She wasn’t sure how the water must work and she didn’t want her mind to wander in that direction.

“I suggest you take the Captain’s advice and get some sleep. We never know when we’re going to ship off again and sleeping on a ship is nothing like on solid ground,” Ron said.

He turned to walk out the door and shut it behind him. She heard him lock it too. Instead of trying the knob, she went to the water basin and splashed water over her face and down her arms. It was incredibly hot in there with all the candles. She walked around and blew most out before taking Ron’s advice and lay down on the bed. Before long, she was asleep.