Fearful Passion

Chapter Four

Joshua came in a few hours later and saw her asleep on the bed. Caroline waited until she heard him start moving around to open her eyes slightly to see what he was doing. He went behind a dressing screen and began to change out of his suit from the party. Caroline’s cheeks turned red from watching this, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. He came out from behind it in a plain pair of pants and walked to the wash stand. He took a rag and cleaned all the dust from the unloading off of him. Caroline watched him as her heart started beating fast. His body showed muscles everywhere and his skin was dark from being in the sun. She closed her eyes quickly as he started to turn towards her.

“Caroline,” he called brushing the hair off her face.

Caroline moaned like she was waking up and rolled over onto her back and looked up. She jumped into a sitting position like he had startled her.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Joshua calmed.

“Then, why did you kidnap me?” Caroline asked. “I didn’t want to see you anymore and I told you that.”

“You would never see me in the first place. Why are you so scared of me?” he asked.

“Well, for starters, you’re a pirate and you’ve kidnapped me,” Caroline retorted.

“I mean before you knew all that. At the party you said you were scared of me, I want to know why. What feelings are you afraid of? Passion?” he asked.

“It’s none of your concern,” she replied.

“It is my concern, woman. Can’t you tell I’m in love with you?” he asked getting agitated.

“If you’re in love with me you have a crazy way of showing it by kidnapping me,” she retorted.

His eyes blazed up, “I thought this was the only way I could get you to talk to me. I had to leave tonight and I wanted you to come with me so we could work everything out.”

“There was nothing to work out. I told you I didn’t want to see you again. Did you take that as a sign to kidnap me and think that if you had me under your control I’d fall all over you?” Caroline said.

“Your mind might say that, but your heart and your body are saying you want me as bad as I want you,” he replied.

Caroline opened her mouth to protest, but his lips were quickly on hers. She tried to fight him, but he was stronger than she was. He laid her back against the sheets and Caroline continued to struggled until he moved away from her.

“I can’t do this,” Caroline cried.

“Why not?” Joshua asked.

“Because I’m afraid,” she replied.

“Afraid of what? I’m not going to do anything unless you tell me I can,” he said.

“It’s not that. Joshua, I’m a virgin,” she blurted out.

“I know,” he replied.

“How did you know?” Caroline asked incredulously.

“I figured that was what you were afraid of when we started all of this. You might be a tease, but you don’t normally let things get out of your control,” Joshua replied.

“Around you I have no control. I just want to abandon myself to you and that scares me. I’ve never been dependent on anyone other than my father and never intended to, but with you it’s different,” Caroline said.

Her eyes were starting to water at this confession. Joshua wiped them away from her eyes.

“Please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to upset you, but I wanted you to admit that to me, to admit that you love me. You’ll never have to be afraid of me,” Joshua said. “Let me kiss you and don’t pull away.”

His lips were upon hers in a tender kiss, but slowly he became more and more hungry. Caroline was afraid, but she didn’t pull away from him. Now that everything was out, she started to calm down when the feelings surfaced. Joshua spread himself out beside her on the bed and rubbed her neck as he kissed her. She felt her heart flutter and testily touched his lips with her tongue. He took this as a sign to go further and he slid his tongue into her mouth and massaged hers with his. Caroline let out a groan and froze when she did.

“It’s ok. It lets me know you’re enjoying it. Plus, I like it when it comes from you,” Joshua smiled.

Joshua went back to kissing her and slid his hand down her arm to her waist. Then, slowly slid it up to her breast. A knock on the door interrupted them and Caroline jumped away from him. He sighed and angrily opened the door and allowed one of the sailors to bring in a tray of food and wine for them. Then, the sailor quickly left the room.

“Since the mood is pretty much broken, would you like something to eat or perhaps to drink?” Joshua asked.

Caroline nodded her head. Then, she stood up and walked to the tray. There was a wide assortment of fruits, bread, and a few slices of ham. She took the bread and made a sandwich with the meat and sat down against a few of the pillows on the floor. They ate in silence with Joshua watching her and Caroline averting his gaze. Joshua pulled the tray of fruit onto the floor with them as Caroline finished her sandwich. He then poured them both a glass of wine and sat back down.

Another knock came at the door. Joshua let his head drop down to his chest and tossed the rest of the melon he was eating back on the tray. Ron was standing in the doorway and Joshua motioned him into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Captain, the men are wondering when we’ll be setting off again,” Ron asked.

“We’ll set out again first thing in the morning. Is that all?” Joshua asked.

“Ron, is there another room where I can sleep and have some privacy?” Caroline asked.

Ron looked from Joshua and back again. A small smile crept into his face. Joshua looked at her incredulously. Then, seeing the determined look in her face he backed away.

“That won’t be necessary. You will sleep here,” Joshua said.

“Will you be sleeping elsewhere then?” Caroline asked batting her eyelashes.

He stared at her before finally answering, “Yes, I will be sleeping a few rooms down in case anything should happen during the night. Get your rest because you set out with us in the morning.”

“Why do I have to go? I surely can’t get off this island without a boat,” Caroline argued.

“That’s true, but there’s no stopping another boat finding our little cavern here and you alone in it,” Joshua said.

“Oh, you mean other people like you? The kind that kidnap young women and try to seduce them?” Caroline asked smiling.

“They may not try to seduce you. They might just take what they want. Get to bed with you,” Joshua said pushing Ron out of the room and closing the door behind him.

Caroline slouched when she was finally alone. She was terrified of what might’ve happened if Ron hadn’t come in. She didn’t know what to do. There really wasn’t anything for her to do. She climbed into the bed and cried herself to sleep.

Later that night, she heard the door to her room creak open. She opened her eyes slightly and peered into the dark room. She couldn’t see anything because there were no windows in the place and she had blown the remainder of the candles out before going to sleep. She thought perhaps the door had just not been shut well and a breeze blew it open. She closed her eyes and snuggled deeper into the sheets.

Then, she heard the footsteps. She quickly opened her eyes and scanned the room, trying desperately to see who was in the room. Before Caroline could find any shape, a huge hand covered her mouth. She fought against it and managed to bite the hand and scream out for help. It was only a small sound that came out before the huge mass flattened her out on the bed and held her hands above her head with one of his own. He shoved a rag in her mouth with the other and then was quickly pulling up her skirts. She felt his hot breath against the top of her breasts and smelled the stench of whiskey. Her eyes teared up against his weight crushing her and the fear of the pain that was sure to come.

She felt his fingers skim across her through her panties and she squeezed her eyes closed. His fingers found what they were searching for and dove into her making her cry out through the rag because of the dry friction. She felt him move around below her and then she felt what she had dreaded. Her door slammed open just as the intruder was about to shove inside her. Tears streamed down her face and she froze against the inevitable.

She felt the man being shoved off of her, but she just lay there balling up inside of herself. She wrapped her skirts around her as tightly as she could. More people ran into the room carrying candles until the room was well lit up. They all looked from Caroline and her fetal position to the mass of flesh rolling around on the ground. Finally, they heard a gunshot go off and they all stepped back as the mass lay still. Soon after, the man on top rolled off and stood up. It was Captain Joshua and his chest was all bloodied, but he wasn’t the one who had been shot. They looked to the ground and Ron lay motionless with a bullet through his heart and his pants halfway down.

“Give me a light and get this trash out of here,” Joshua said.

One of the men gave him his candle and then helped the rest of the men drag Ron’s lifeless body out of the room and down to the ocean. Joshua moved over to Caroline and put a hand on her to roll her over. She shuddered from him and screamed out as if a delayed reaction. Joshua grabbed her and held her to him to calm her. She fought against him until the sobs overpowered everything else. Then, she sat there and cried until she had no more energy in her body to even cling to him. Joshua laid her back down on the bed and went and filled the tub with warm water and added a few soothing salts to it. Then, he threw a robe over the changing screen and helped her up off the bed.

“Just relax in there and I’ll wait outside the door. If you need anything call for me. When you’re finished just let me know at the door and I’ll come in and tuck you into bed. You won’t need to worry about Ron anymore. He’s not going to be able to get to you and hurt you ever again,” Joshua comforted.

“Joshua, will you stay with me tonight? I’m frightened,” Caroline whimpered.

Joshua went and wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, “If that’s what you want. No one is going to bother you tonight. I promise.”

He let her go and turned and walked outside the room. When he was outside, she undressed and eased herself into the tub. The heat felt wonderful and helped calm her down. She hoped she’d never have to experience that ever again. She was glad Joshua had come to her aid, but if it hadn’t been for him she never would’ve been put in that situation. She had always wanted adventure, but now that she had a chance for it, it seemed too overwhelming for her. Maybe Joshua would take her back to England now that this had happened. She hoped so.

Thirty minutes later she got out of the tub and dried off. She wrapped the thick, terry cloth robe around her and secured it tightly before walking to the door and opening it. Joshua, true to his word, was sitting on the ground across from her door making sure no one would bother her. He smiled up at her as she opened it and stood up, brushing himself off.

“Did it help any? I know it was a scary encounter. Are you all right?” he asked her.

“It did help a little. Thank you,” Caroline said.

While he walked in through the doorway, she grabbed a few of the blankets off of her bed and put them on the ground for Joshua. He grabbed a pillow from the pile they had been sitting on and put it on top of the blankets. Caroline got in the bed and snuggled up under the covers as far as she could. When she heard Joshua finally get still, she thought to ask him about taking her back.

“Joshua?”

“Yes?” he replied.

“Will you take me back to England now?” Caroline asked.

“I can’t,” he replied solemnly.

“Why not? Joshua, you’ve spoken all you need to say to me and now I want to go home,” Caroline pleaded.

“I’m sorry. I can’t take you back yet,” Joshua sighed.

Caroline’s eyes welled up, “Why not?”

“Stop your crying you’ve been through enough tonight. Go to sleep,” Joshua commanded.

Caroline hid her face into her pillow and sobbed silently. What else could he need her for? He said what he needed to say. What else could there be? Soon, the events of the evening took their toll on her and she fell asleep. Joshua lay there silently until he could hear her sobs no more. Then, carefully, he sat up and crawled to her side. Her face and her pillow were stained from crying, but she was asleep. He reached over and pulled her hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear.

“I’m sorry, Caroline. I am a pirate and must do what I must. I love you and I hope you will understand,” he whispered staring at her sleeping form.

Then, he pulled the covers closely over her and crawled back to his pallet. He lay tossing and turning in restless slumber over his conscience, over the main reason he had taken her from everything she knew.