Fearful Passion

Chapter Five

Caroline awoke to an empty room. Joshua’s blankets and pillow were folded up and placed in the corner. She saw a box lying on the table across the room and decided to get up and investigate. She threw the covers off of her and wrapped the robe around tighter against the morning chill. Then, she walked over to the box. On the top was written: For You. She opened the box to find a dress. It was tan colored with a dark brown corset like top. She quickly tried it on and it fit perfectly. She was amazed. She turned around when she heard a knock at the door.

Joshua walked in, “Good you’re up. I see you’ve found your present. We have a sailor on board who sews rather well. I won’t give you his name because it will hurt his pride. He took the measurements from your dress that you originally wore and altered this one to fit you. From the looks of it, he did a very good job.”

“Yes, he did wonderfully. Thank you,” Caroline replied.

“How are you feeling this morning? Calmer?” Joshua asked.

“Yes, still slightly shaky though,” she smiled.

“I’ll bring you some breakfast and then we can board, unless you’d rather eat while on the ship?” Joshua asked.

“Are you taking me back to England then?” Caroline asked.

“We discussed this last night, Caroline. I cannot take you back. I will not speak of this again. Now, head to the ship. You’ll eat your breakfast there if you’re hungry,” Joshua said.

“Joshua,” Caroline called. “Take me home. I want to go now!”

He walked out of the room and down the hallway. Caroline ran to the door.

“Do you hear me?” she cried.

Joshua turned around and stalked back to her. Getting in her face, he stared into her eyes.

“I’ll take you back when I’m ready to, but until then, you do what I say and never talk to me like that again. Do you understand? Now, you can follow Byron here to the ship or he can drag you kicking and screaming. Your choice.”

As if on cue, Byron walked up from out of the corner. Caroline took a step back when she saw him. Joshua turned around and walked off. Caroline ran after him.

“Joshua, I’m not finished with you!”

He turned around and grabbed her arm and jerked her around taking her towards Byron. He took her from Joshua and threw her over his shoulder.

“Lock her in my cabin. I’ll be there shortly,” he replied. “Don’t let anyone in there with her.”

Byron took her, still thrown over his shoulder, towards the ship. Joshua watched after them and then turned to finish what he had to do this morning. Then, he headed towards the ship and boarded. The crew began pulling up anchor and rowing out of the cavern until the wind could catch their sails. As soon as Joshua made sure the ship was sailing smoothly and checked on all the men, he decided to go below and check on their precious cargo. Hopefully, she had calmed down by now.

He walked down the steps and the hall to his cabin. When he knocked on the door, there was no answer. He pulled his key out from under his shirt where it hung on a chain and unlocked the door. He opened it, slinging the door wide. Caroline threw whatever her hand could reach at him which was a small plate. She folded her arms around her stomach as a sense of security when she ended up missing him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

“Well, I was trying to hit you, but apparently I’m not a good shot,” Caroline replied.

“Look, this trip is going to take a while so you can either bide your time here or we can throw you overboard, your choice. If you think you can behave, I’ll leave the door unlocked and you can walk on deck, but if you’re going to be stubborn and uncooperative, then you can remain locked in here,” he said.

Caroline looked at him through fierce eyes. How dare he talk to her in this manner! She would show him in the end. She’d have him thrown into jail as soon as they reached land again. To think, she ever had any feelings for him. The bad thing that Caroline tried to shove to the back of her mind was that she still had feelings for him.

“Would you like a drink and something to eat? I see you didn’t touch the porridge we brought you for breakfast,” he said.

He rang a bell and had one of the men bring them a few sandwiches and some chilled water. Then, he motioned for Caroline to move to a seat at the table. She quietly obliged, but refused to let him touch her. He sat down opposite her and drummed his fingers on the table. Caroline wouldn’t look at him. She kept looking around the room or picking at her nails which soon would be sore from it. Finally, the man brought in the tray and placed it between them on the table. They ate in silence as the ship made its way through the waves of the sea. When they finished, Joshua stood up.

“I’m going above to check on the men. Would you like to come and get some fresh air?” he asked her.

Caroline nodded her approval and stood up to follow him out. Joshua stopped at the doorway and motioned for her to go first.
“After you, my dear. I wouldn’t want to get a knife in the back or anything,” he said.

“You mean like you stabbed in mine?” Caroline asked smiling sweetly up at him as she walked past.

Joshua raised his hands to wring her neck but grabbed the air instead. She was already walking down the hallway towards the stairs that lead to the deck. As soon as she stepped through the door to the outside, she was hit by the smell of the sea and tasted the salt upon her lips. She stepped to the side to allow Joshua to come up and stared at the vast amount of water as she moved her hair out of her face. No ships were in sight. She had hoped they would be near land or close enough to another ship for her to scream for help, but no such luck.

Instead, she contented herself with watching the crew and gazing over the side of the ship into the horizon, thinking of what her aunt and father must be feeling with her missing. She vaguely heard Joshua shout some orders, but her mind was elsewhere. Caroline looked out over the water and then thought of her mother. She had always loved the ocean. Joshua walked up behind her and touched the small of her back to draw her eyes toward him.

“A penny for your thoughts,” he smiled.

“Is that all you want?” she replied.

Joshua’s smile faded and he looked out into the water. The ride was very smooth with a slow breeze blowing them along. The sun was bright and starting to warm Caroline’s skin as she stood against the railing. She turned from Joshua and went back down the room, refusing to stay close to him at all. She didn’t hear him tramping after her, so she figured she would at least have a few moments to let her guard down and relax. She walked into the room and closed the door behind her. There was a wash bowl next to the table with a pitcher of water next to it. Caroline poured a little of the water into the bowl and took the washcloth lying next to it. She dipped the cloth into the cool water and began to rub her face and neck to calm herself down. Then, she lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. The swaying of the ship finally put her to sleep.

A few hours later or so, Caroline couldn’t really tell, but it was starting to turn dark outside. She opened her eyes thinking she heard something creak. Then, she remembered she was on a ship, but something was moving around inside the room. She quickly sat up and spoke.

“Whose there? Show yourself,” she said.

She heard a match strike and then someone’s face lit up as they tried to light a lantern.

“It’s only me. I told you, you have nothing to fear from Ron anymore,” Joshua replied.

“It’s not Ron I fear,” Caroline smirked.

Joshua stared at her as he lit a cigarette before putting the glass over the lantern. Caroline glared back at him until he moved his eyes away to his smoke. He was quiet and barely distinguishable since the lantern was turned low. Caroline didn’t move. She was ready to jump at the slightest sign of assault. Instead, Joshua just sat there and puffed on his cigarette.

“Since when do you smoke?” Caroline asked.

“Since I met you,” Joshua replied. “It calms my nerves.”

“Well, if you had left me alone you wouldn’t be so nervous,” Caroline retorted.

Joshua sighed and put the cigarette out. Then he sat back and stared at her with his arm hanging over the back of the chair. She finally lowered her head under the scrutiny and picked at her fingers again. He stood up and moved his chair closer to the bed and put his hands over hers to make her stop.

“You keep that up, you’ll have them bleeding. There is no harm going to come to you so there is no need to be nervously twitching. We’ll take you back as soon as we can. Right now we have things to do. When we finish, we’ll take you back. Alright?” Joshua asked.

Caroline looked up at him with hope in her eyes, “Why don’t you just drop me off at the next sight of land and I’ll find my own way back home. I won’t tell anyone it was you who took me.”

“No, I can’t risk harm coming to you in the process. Also, if you hate me as much as you say you do, then why not tell them who I am? That would definitely be in your best interest, but definitely not mine,” he replied.

“Joshua, I won’t tell anyone about you. Your secret is safe. Can I at least write to my father to let him know I’m alright? I’m sure my aunt has told him of my disappearance by now. Let me write him,” she pleaded.

“Alright then,” Joshua said patting her hands and getting up to retrieve paper and ink from his desk drawer.

Caroline jumped up and hugged him. Then she looked up in his eyes. Joshua wanted so badly to kiss those lips and make her his right there, but he refrained. Instead, he moved her away from him and walked out of the cabin to go back up on deck. Caroline watched after him and felt ashamed. She didn’t know why, only that her heart had been screaming for him to kiss her and the voice in her mind was slowly starting to drown away. She turned to sit down at the desk and write a letter first to her aunt to let her know she was alright. She didn’t know what else to write to them except that she was alive and unharmed. She couldn’t give any other information than that. She wrote an identical one to her father and sealed and addressed them both.

She left them lying on the desk and stood to stretch. It was getting stuffy in the room so she decided to go back up for a bit. She walked up the stairs and out into the fresh air. There was still no sight of land or another ship. She finally gave up trying to see one and sat down on one of the crates aboard the deck. She gazed over the railing into the water and watched the fish swim by. Joshua noticed her sitting there and quickly walked down to the room. He sat down at the desk and opened the letters she had written to make sure she hadn’t slipped in anything. Then, he set them to the side and wrote his own letter to her father.

Dear Mr. Welbourne,
As you can tell, your daughter Caroline is alive and well. She will be returned to you in this same manner. However, we must come to an agreement before bringing her back at all. We’re holding your daughter ransom for the sum of 100,000 pounds. Until we receive this, we will take care of your precious daughter. Please procure the amount as swiftly as possible. Someone will contact you in one month to make the trade.

Joshua put the quill back into the ink and reread the letter. It would do. He let the ink dry before folding the paper up and placing it into an envelope with Caroline’s letter to her father. Caroline came walking in the room after the letter was put in the envelope. He laid it on the desk and turned around to face her.

“Checking up on me are you?” she asked.

“One can never be too careful,” he replied smiling. “Especially when a woman is involved. I’d better go up and check on our course.”

He stood from his chair and brushed past Caroline to the door. Then, he disappeared down the hallway. Caroline moved to close the door behind him and turned back to the desk. She had seen him writing when she first entered the room. She sat down at the desk and opened the envelope, sliding a small letter opener under the seal he had placed on it. She pulled her letter out along with the one Joshua had written. She unfolded his and began to read it. A few minutes later, Joshua came back down and opened the door. Caroline sat at the table looking up at him, his letter in her hand. He slumped his shoulders and closed the door behind him.

“A ransom letter? You’re holding me for ransom?” Caroline asked glaring at him.

“It doesn’t mean my feelings about you are false,” Joshua replied.

“Feelings? Are you out of your mind? I thought I might’ve been falling for you for just a split second there and then I learn you have an ulterior motive and all of this has been a way to just keep me calm and obedient while you write to my father for money in exchange for his only child. Some way to get in good with the family, Joshua. What were you going to do? As soon as you received the money would you actually try to marry me or throw me over board for the sharks? Either way you wouldn’t have allowed me to go back to my father knowing your identity. Now would you?” Caroline asked.

“Caroline, it’s not like that. I’m a pirate first and these men have risked their lives in order to bring you on board for me,” Joshua replied.

“Risked their lives? What about my own life? You never cared about me did you? You only meant to get my ransom. How did you find out that my family was wealthy? Was it my aunt? Is she in on this as well?”

“No, she isn’t involved in this. I learned it from the captain of the vessel you came to England on. He’s a friend of mine and I asked a few questions of you when you arrived. You know what though? I don’t have to answer anything to you. Now that my secret is out, I don’t have to be nice anymore either. If I wanted to and didn’t really care about you I’d throw you in the gallows and let you stay down there with the crew and let them have their way with you. Or,” he said moving closer to her until they were almost touching, “I could have my way with you right here and now and stop this constant frustration you leave upon me.”

Caroline cowered away from him and down cast her eyes from his. She hadn’t expected this type of reaction from him. She was actually afraid he might do as he threatened. She didn’t know how to gauge how serious he really was. He pushed her back onto the bed and fought her as she struggled to get up. He placed his whole body on top of her to weight her down. He pinned her hands above her head and all Caroline could do was twist her body which was doing more harm than good. He brought his mouth roughly to hers and forced her lips to part so he could slide his tongue in. He rubbed his arousal against her to let her know how serious he really was. Caroline was frightened more than anything but she also felt herself grow hot and wet with the anticipation. Joshua felt her stop struggling and it seemed as if she might be enjoying it. He knew it could only be his mind toying with him. He opened his eyes and looked down at her. Her eyes were squeezed tight and tears were running down the sides of her face to wet her hair.

His heart caved in on him and he pulled away from her. He hated himself for doing this. He did care about her and this was certainly no way to show it. Instead, he had frightened her out of her wits and violated any trust she was beginning to have in him. Suddenly her words came back to him. She had started to fall in love with him and now he had messed everything up. He looked back at her and she still lay there so frigid and crying. She hadn’t dared open her eyes when he moved away to see what was going to happen.

“Caroline, open your eyes,” Joshua said.

“No, just get this over with,” she replied squeezing her eyes tighter.

Joshua couldn’t help letting out a slight laugh at this, “I’m not going to do anything to get over with. Open your eyes please and look at me.”

Caroline opened her eyes slowly and looked up at him. They were filled with tears and they were still running down her face. He wanted to wipe them away but knew she would flinch away from him if he did. He was the cause of them and the last thing she would want would be for him to touch her.

Joshua stood up, “I’m not going to touch you again. When I walk out of here, I want you to lock this door. I’m going to get drunk and there will be nothing to stop me from barging back in here and doing to you what my dreams have been full of since I laid eyes upon you. Do you understand?”

Caroline nodded her head and he stared at her for a moment more before turning to walk out the door. He heard her quickly shut the door behind him and lock it. He walked down to where the men were eating dinner and looked for the barrels of ale they had brought with them. Caroline listened for his foot steps to walk away and then she lay back down on the bed and curl herself into a ball. She began to cry profusely and soon had cried herself to sleep.

****

Before long Joshua was two sheets to the wind and sat at the table with his crew singing loudly and severely off tune. He tried to drink himself into a sickening slumber, but his mind kept returning to Caroline. Finally, he gave up his reverie and stumbled up the stairs to the deck. He sat down on a crate behind the wheel and stared out into the darkness. Then, he glanced up to the stars and fell back off his crate onto the deck. He lay there staring at the stars when he realized he was on top of his cabin and he could hear Caroline’s muffled sobs. He tried to stand up, but it was of no use. His limbs were like jelly. Instead, he rolled over and listened to the torment he had put the woman he loved in. Before long, he passed out and that was where he stayed the rest of the night.