Seriously?!

Kidnapped by aliens

Hi. I'm back. So much has happened in the 49 days since I last wrote that I might as well just start fresh.

I wasn't actually kidnapped by aliens or anything, it just feels that way. I moved across town into a fantastic new townhouse with the same roommate. I am now working 4 jobs: my regular, the one at the shop on Sat/Sun, OutdoorCinema on Fri nights, and now I'm writing for a new publication in town. There hasn't been a lot of free time recently. I don't have internet at home anymore either and I can't get online there to do any journal entries. One of our cats died. Todd is trying to find a job in Denver so he can be closer to me. CPI is still clueless. I achieved my high blue belt. I'm going on a diet, which is making me grumpy as hell.

I went home to see my people over Labor Day weekend. Conlan was at mom and dad's and he was extremely excited to see me. He's huge! He grew so much over the last 2 months, it's incredible. He can sit up and roll over and he smiles at you a laughs and jumps in his jumper like a rabbit. Even though he hasn't figured out the whole crawling thing yet (though it was pretty funny watching my brother Billy trying to teach him) because of the time he's spent in the jumper his little legs are like iron. He's strong enough to pull himself up on stuff and stand up all on him own. He'll probably walk before he crawls.

I think part of the reason he likes me so much is becuase of my resemblance to my sister (his mom). We look somewhat alike and sound identical. When I walked in the house he was in the jumper. I said in my super excited voice "CONLAN!! How's my faaaavorite boy in the entiiiiire universe??!!" and he just went ape-shit smiling and squealing and slapping his little hands on his tray table. Oh yeah. We bonded. I am officially the Favorite Aunt.

I got to spend time with Todd on Saturday and Sunday night. Saturday we didn't even go anywhere, unless you count the trip from the living room to his bedroom. The sex is fantasticOMIGOD, but it's really the rest of the time spent with him that is precious. God, I miss him so bad my stomach hurts.

I know CPI is temporary bandaid, because Todd isn't here. "Covering the cut with the likes of me..." He provide the flattery, the encouragement, the proximity, the fun outings and everything (except the sex) that Todd can't because HE'S NOT HERE.

Not that I'm bitter about that or anything. Yeah. Right.

I have again decided that I am not having a crush on CPI any more. I'm NOT. I'm just NOT. I can do this, I can. It just takes willpower. OK, so most of my willpower is spoken for at this point because of the diet, but I think I have enough left over to manage this anti-crush movement. I have to. It's getting so bad that I'm beginning to doubt my sanity. Am I seeing things that really aren't there because I want them to be there so bad? Or are they really there? Is he really giving off signals or am I just reading into things because he's being nice to me?