Personal Journal

Jean's Home & I'm 36

Jean's home.
She's not entirely well, but I cannot truthfully attribute that to her disease. It could be the medications.
Her mom comes in tomorrow.
I tried tonight to broach the subject of bad news with Jean's brother and sister-in-law. They're not willing to consider it. It's not something they will ponder.

I'm not going to try it again.
The sad part is that if her brother & sis-in-law don't ponder it and take a look at the possibilities, they may never see Jean functioning highly again.
I can't do anything about that.
I'm not "family" really, though they hold me in high regard. I'm certainly not 'their' family, and whatever cognitive inheritance they share, I am not privy to it.

When Jean dies, Walter (her brother) is going to be impossible to deal with. He's 13 years older than she, and has a lot of control issues.
His wife I think may figure it out later. But tonight she didn't have it in her.
We'll see how Jeans' mom handles things tomorrow.

See if she notices what I wrote about last night - those 4 inches of change that happened gradually over time. She's more likely to than I, because she hasn't seen Jean since September (when the first seizure happend).

Anyhow, today I turn 36, and like my 18th, it was unremarkable. Jean came home, and that makes it a good day.
I figured out something though - when Jean's in the hospital, I can really get some rest. I don't have to be on guard for her - there are professionals who do that.
This time while her mom is out here, I'm not going to be able to delegate to her mother. Jean's memory function is impaired, so she can't give reliable instructions to her mom, and her mom doesn't know the subtleties of the problem signs the way I do, so I can't trust things to her hands, at least not until I get an idea that Jean really is improving.

Thanks for your prayers and kind words, by the way. They helped hold me together at times these past few days.