Life as we know it sucks

Sick of It

Current Mood: um...I'll get back to you on that

Current Music: -

Friday December 3, 2004

Ugh. Today was a bad day at school. I'm catching some major senioritis these days. I mean, it's really sad. I wanted to skip fourth so badly again today but I didn't because Ashton wasn't there.

I just wish he'd get over it. I know that sounds so awful and mean, but I'm sick of being depressed and feeling so bad about everything - even if I didn't do anything. But hey, I'm not dumb enough to think I didn't do anything this time. I know I broke his heart and I just can't get over that. I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to break his heart . . . so why did I? *sigh*

Joseph asked me today what I have to get over. It took me a long time to realize that I broke my own heart . . . that Chris sort of broke my heart when he decided to hate me so much. He's so ecstatic when I'm not in fourth period. Do you know how awful that makes me feel? *sigh*

We were best friends - or so it seemed - and now . . . we're enemies. And if he ever brought a gun to school, I'd be the first he'd shoot. That's how much he hates me. I don't think I've ever been more hated.

I don't even know what I was thinking when I thought we could actually stay friends if I broke his heart. Why would he even promise such a thing? It wouldn't have happened . . . ever. I've lost another friend. We'll never be friends again and that makes me so sad. *sigh* I'm sick of losing people.

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"I love you" is only 8 letters . . . then again, so is "bullshit."