Scratches in the desert sand

2 MAY 2004

Although I didn't have much time to prepare, the morning service went well. Good to have an idea for a sermon come to mind this morning, some what at the last minute. The theme finally developed in to, "the shepherd knows". I think it was helpful in light of the deaths of two soldiers over the weekend. Specialist Trevor Wine w/ an accent over the "e". and Sergeant Joshua Ladd. Two young soldiers, with so much life ahead of them, snuffed out for what reason? I have to hope, “The shepherd knows". There is something about this environment that has a honing effect. There is intensity, not desperation or franticness, but a slow driving force like a river carving out a course by the shear weigh of constant force. This conflict, though not so immediate, is always there like the current of a river. Its force is slowly penetrating our conscientious, our priorities, our values, making each tick of the clock a precursor to eternity.
I spent the rest of the day in the office relaxing, IM-ed with Trace. I am so happy she has horses; it just seems to make her feel complete. We had a nice surprise at chow, with the appearance of hand scooped ice cream. I had vanilla with chocolate syrup. There were a couple of mortar rounds hit somewhere on the FOB this afternoon. I am very tired tonight, it was a stressful weekend.
Strange the deaths of these two soldiers, in every way it was a day like every other day, except their lives came to an end. It is hard to fathom that they are no more-gone just like that. They woke up yesterday like everyone else, with plans, what they were going to do when they got back from the convoy. But the random act of pressing a button by some stranger who had no idea of who he was about to kill, and they are gone. So somewhere a mom and dad, sister or brother, friends are wondering when the next letter, or phone call, e-mail will come.
They may be wondering what he will say. Is he happy or sad? Is he upset about something? May be they had an argument the last time the talked and have convinced themselves they don’t care if they didn't hear from their soldier. Now there will be no phone call or e-mail to appear on the inbox. Only the painful letter they will receive explaining his death and the endless message of the silent phone, never to ring again. So sad. This world is so full of pain.